The Meditations of My Heart

2.0.1.2.

2012-01-11T08:19:00.000-08:00

When the ball dropped at midnight this year it was different. 2012. A new year, a fresh start. New Years has always been magical to me for some reason. I guess it's just the thought that maybe this year will be better than the last - it's a time for reflection and assessment. I do it without even realizing it. It's like a much needed restart after getting through the busyness of the holidays; all the visiting, shopping, cooking, preparing. For some it's exciting, for others its a yearly struggle. New Years is like pressing the fast forward button to a new chapter. Life comes to a halt suddenly, we flip the page, and keep moving. It's such a lovely feeling.

Everyone talks about resolutions. "In 2012 I will [_____]." Get healthy, go to church, blog every day, write in my journal, read my Bible daily. Fill in the blank with whatever your resolution may be. But after the first two weeks burnout happens and we revert back to how we were at the end of the previous year. It's a little disheartening isn't it? My solution is to resolve to NO resolutions. Just be more attuned to how God is working in your life daily and you don't need a resolution to get a good start to the new year.

So whatever you may be struggling with, whatever your resolution is, put it in God's hands and resolve to let Him guide you in 2012. After all, His plans are better than ours anyway :)

Happy 2012.

We Do Cupcakes!!!

2011-06-21T06:54:00.000-07:00

So as many of you know, my mom and I have a small, home based baking business. About five years ago around Christmas time, money was a little tight. My mom and I started brainstorming how we could help my already hard-working dad bring in a few extra dollars.... and so began Rhonda's Tasty Treats. To our great surprise, the Lord blessed us with hundred's of dollars in orders in just the first season! We started out with a basic list of cookies, nut rolls, and pumpkin rolls (man, those things sell like hot cakes!) We gradually began to experiment with new products in the gluten free genre and even some pies.

With shows like Cupcake Wars and the rise in popularity of Celebrities doing cupcakes instead of sheet cakes for parties and weddings, the demand for cute, boutique-style, gourmet cupcakes has become high. So we figured why not... we will try it as an experiment for my brother's upcoming graduation party and see what happens. To our surprise, they were a HUGE hit! So, Rhonda's Tasty Treats now does cupcakes too!

The hit of the party... Chocolate Raspberry Cupcakes with Godiva Liquor and Raspberry Vodka (hence the reason these babies are not for the kiddos!)

Caramel Macchiato... caramel and coffee cupcake base, with a thin caramel filling topped with a caramel and coffee butter cream.

Our current menu for cupcakes...

- Chocolate Raspberry

- Caramel Macchiato

- Pina Colada

- Pittsburgh Mud Puddle (Chocolate Peanut Butter)

- Chocolate Chili

- Plain Chocolate

- Plain Vanilla

- Spiced Chai

Chocolate Chili... regular chocolate Godiva cake with a little kick!

We plan on expanding our menu as we try new recipes for cakes. Some that we plan on trying in the near future include... White Russian, Strawberry Shortcake, Margarita, Mojito, and Chocolate Cherry Bombs.

If you are interested in ordering some delicious cakes that are sure to make you popular among your friends, try us out for your next event! You can send inquiries to imove92@gmail.com. Also, if you have an inspiration for a cake that you'd like us to try, we will be more than happy to work with you and try something new!

[Happiness is]

2011-05-09T06:00:00.000-07:00

A spiced chai cupcake.

A cup of hazelnut coffee with chocolate soymilk.

A warm, sunny Sunday afternoon.

A drive through the country at sunset.

A newly discovered playlist.

It's the small things in life that make me happy. Well, they don't make me happy, they just add to the general splendor of life. I think when we take time to seriously look for the little things that are good in life, it becomes much more beautiful and we become easier to please. Today's challenge is easy... just look for the simple things in life that make you bubble up inside with happiness and make you feel content. Feel free to share if you'd like.

I Need Serenity

2011-05-06T06:49:00.001-07:00

No, I'm not talking about the Nickelback song... though it is a good one. Its just really interesting how God chooses to work. He works our life in phases. Seasons, if you will. He fades people in and out in His timing; there are NO consequences with God.

Everything that happens in life happens for a reason. It's age-old logic, but seriously - it's the truth. We are all walking through trials in life, but He has given us the ability to choose whether we will dread them, or if we will look for His goodness in them. It's like a life long treasure hunt. As many of you know, the last five months of my life has been one big downhill slide. Over the course of almost half a year, I have managed to turn away from everything I have ever known and chase after something I have always been warned against. I have disappointed my parents, my friends, and myself. I was supposed to be the strong one. The leader, the good example. I confess that I have been everything BUT that. And for those of you who I have caused to sin, I sincerely apologize.

It's easy to stay there and perpetually beat yourself up over choices. It's easy to know that God has forgiven you, but the hardest part is self-forgiveness. We are our own biggest critic. A stream of never-ending, ridiculous, insanely high, expectations, seems to flow through our heads all day long. Let me tell you, friends. This stream of constant self-doubt is none other than Satan himself lying to you. It is the most powerful tool he has to use against us, and he always takes full advantage of it. We are prideful creatures by nature and when our confidence is constantly being inundated with negative self-thought, we being to believe that we are inadequate how God made us. We can't serve God to our full potential when we don't realize that we truly are beautiful how He made us.

That is the true beauty in not all of us being stamped out cookie cutter people. Iron sharpens iron, right? Well what good does a dull blade being sharpened on a dull sharpener do? We are all sharp, and together we help to keep each other sharp because we are different. I don't claim to have negative self-thought under control, but with God's help in this past five month season of my life, I feel like I have come a VERY long way. It is okay to love yourself. After all, we are called to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. If you don't love who God made you, then you won't be able to appreciate others for who God made them. Friends, life is much more beautiful when you look for the good things in others rather than dwelling on their negative traits in order to make yourself feel better about you.

It's a process that plays out in God's timing, but I promise - HE promises that we are all loved. He is our father. The KING! We are all royalty. We don't need a wedding that 5 million people across the world watch, or huge engagement rings, or horse-drawn carriages. We already had our wedding and we are in the stage of living it out now. He promises to be with us whenever we call on Him. He promises serenity, restoration, peace, joy, and love in His arms. The hard part, friends, is letting Him engulf us with his big, warm, loving arms. Truly letting Him show His love for us and drench us in the magnificent beauty of being loved by the true King of the Universe. I know it's hard to believe, but Obama's got nothing on our GOD!

Last night, I got the opportunity to grab my camera and drive out through Venetia to Mingo Creek Park for sunset. I love the country roads - especially at sunset on a beautiful night. I roll my windows down, pop in a Switchfoot CD, and put my hand out the window. It's the closet thing to flying that I think we can get as humans. Spending an hour driving around with the wind in my hair watching as God gently pours his golden light over the colors of His creation is freedom to me. His artistry in nature is healing.

I ended up finding a huge hill in Mingo Park that overlooked the creek and some pinetrees. I climbed about halfway up with my camera and just plopped down in the grass. I layed my head on the ground in the calf-high threads of grain and closed my eyes. My mind cleared, I listened to the creek bubbling, the wind blowing, and the chatter of the birds. I took in a deep breath and with the exhale came sobs. Here I am, laying in the middle of God's love and I have been trying SO desperately to run from it. Test the waters and make a life for MYSELF. I don't even know how long I cried, but then I heard these words over the gentle sounds of nature. Straight from God's lips - almost audible - This is love. This is healing. This is serenity. This is peace. This is freedom. just. let. me. love. you. Let me direct you. Stop trying to do it on your own. I know the plans I have for you, and Danielle, they are way better than the plans you have for yourself. I have given you the ability to see love when you look at my creation and I want you to show others who can't see it. Stop running FROM me, and fall into my arms. I opened my eyes and saw nothing but a huge expanse of blue turning into a fiery sunset over the pine trees in the distance. The birds flying overhead. The grain flowing in the wind. This is love. This is healing. This. Is. Forgiveness.

Harmless Addiction?

2011-04-29T11:25:00.000-07:00

The word addiction has a negative connotation that goes with it. When we think of addiction, we think smoking, gambling, drugs, and alcohol. We think of the "real bad" ones. But the reality is that we all have addictions, because addictions are obsessions. You are probably thinking of yours right now as you read this. Some of us may even be able to justify the reasons for what we do or use. Others of us may not even realize that we have an addiction. To more clearly define what an addiction is, I looked it up on Merriam Webster Online.

"to devote or surrender (oneself) to something habitually or obsessively"

Its interesting to think about habits and obsessions. What is the difference? How do they work together? At what point does a habit become an obsession or vice versa? How is a habit different from idolatry? While the answers to most of the questions cannot be defined once and be applicable to everyone, here are some things to think about....

2 Corinthians 10:4-5 : For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ.

-What are we placing importance on that would keep us back from using every thought and action to serve our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ?

Mark 7:20-23: And he said, “What comes out of a person is what defiles him. For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.”

- What do your actions say about what is important to you? The reality is that we can say we are Christians. We can say that we love Jesus. We can say that we love one another. But friends, actions speak louder than words. It's a proven fact that over 80% of communication between humans is non-verbal. Its through our actions and body language. How are our actions speaking for us? Are we LIVING what we speak with our mouths? I'm very guilty of not doing this myself. It is SO much easier said than done. But because our actions have so much more significance than our words, it is that much more important to try and make them match up for the greater good. We have all heard the phrase that anything worth having is worth having is worth fighting for. Friends, I challenge all of us to fight for what is good. We need to fight to take our thoughts and obsessions captive and turn them into goodness. We can change the connotation of addiction if we are addicted to JESUS. If we are addicted to His words and actions. If we are addicted to pouring over God's Word every day so we can learn how to live out actions that speak loudly for Christ.

Matthew 6:24: "No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate one and love the other or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money."

Obsessions can quickly turn into idolatry if we don't take them captive and turn them over to the Lord. Think about three things you constantly find yourself thinking about. Really, truly think about them. What is the nature of the thoughts? Are they positive or negative. Are they uplifting or destructive to yourself or others. Are they carefree or worrisome. Are your thoughts or obsessions based on truth; truth about yourself, God, and others.

James 4:4-10: You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. Or do you think Scripture says without reason that he jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us? But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:

“God opposes the proud
but shows favor to the humble.”

If we just stop there it leaves us hopeless. We all, at some point or another have made friends with the enemy (whether in thoughts, actions or both). Thank GOD we aren't left high and dry right here. The verse continues on to say this....

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

Once the Lord has allowed us to see how our obsessions and addictions are making friends with the enemy, he calls us to submit ourselves to Him and turn from the devil. Leave what is causing enmity with Him BEHIND US. Leave it in the dust. There is NOTHING on this earth that is more important that our relationship with God, and he will help us to overcome what is causing us to stumble if we just let him.

Sometimes we allow things to slip in under the radar that seem harmless at first, but slowly and surely they will begin to shape our thoughts and ultimately our actions. If we choose to believe the lies that the world tells we will build our lives on the sand and it WILL ALWAYS be washed away. Why waste our mist-like time on building a sand castle when we can use it to build a better house. A magnificent house on the ROCK. A house that will not wash away with the tests of time. A house that will be a safe place for others to come for help and healing. If we can be easily washed away, we will constantly be trying to hold ourselves together rather than seeking to help others build their houses out of rocks.

Just to clarify... I am not saying that all thoughts/obsessions/addictions are bad. I'm not saying to beat yourself up over anything or to be legalistic about it. It's simply something that God has put on my heart and I felt like I should share it with you. Not only share, but call you to action to examine your own obsessions privately so we can all sharpen each other and help one another build our houses sturdily out of rocks and not sand. After all, we want to use our lives to the best of our ability right? Nail your convictions to the cross, friends. Then leave it there and walk away. Don't turn back and ask God for the strength to not fall back into old patterns. WE can do it. I know we can with His help.

I'd love to hear your opinion on addictions, obsessions, and thoughts...

America's Turn Toward Paganism

2011-04-18T22:43:00.000-07:00

As some of you may know, I had to write a paper on Paganism in reference to bodily mutilations this week for English. Here it is...

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“Paganism,” as defined by Merriam Webster’s Dictionary, means “to follow a polytheistic religion; one who has little or no religion and who delights in sensual pleasures and material goods; an irreligious or hedonistic person.” It has been said by many scholars and religious leaders alike that America has trended away from monotheism for a more self-satisfying polytheistic nature. We worship the gods of money, media, love, beauty, food, and self. We have set ourselves and our desires up on pedestals so high that most of our lives are spent trying to achieve perfection and satisfaction in vain. For many, it’s a difficult concept to grasp that everyone has been made to look different, so we flock to the local shopping mall to buy the latest trend of clothes in order to feel good about ourselves. The worship of God through individuality has been almost completely erased. However, it doesn’t stop at just clothing; no - we must push it farther. We must begin to make alterations of our bodies in order to achieve what the media says is visually attractive. It has become the so-called “norm” to see people with larger-than-life breast implants, tattoos, and gauges walking down the street. New York University psychology professor, Paul Vitz, states that “cosmetic mutilation—has now been able to enter into the mainstream culture only because of the revival of paganism and the eclipse of the once-dominant Judeo-Christian ethic.” Vitz's statement is true because of the justification given to body modifications in the media, the many outlets for creativity for "body art," and the common desire to control one's own body through alterations.

Not all media outlets come right out and say “Get bigger breasts and more men will want you” or “Nose rings make you sexy.” They can’t do that. However, they allow the age old phrase “actions speak louder than words” to come into full effect; they even use it to their advantage. For example, in Cosmopolitan this week there is an article depicting big-busted celebrities in their best looking bikinis encouraging women to emulate them by purchasing a bikini similar to their favorite celeb’s. Many women will pick up the magazine and read the article hoping to find something useful but will only to walk away feeling inadequate and ashamed of their small chest, cellulite, and trouble zone. The problem isn’t just that one article. The real trouble comes when we, as Americans, are being constantly bombarded by these false perceptions of beauty and decide to change ourselves based on these perceptions in order to become more attractive. The Bible states in the Book of Genesis that all people are made in God’s image; it also states that God is perfect in every way. Therefore, it could be concluded in a God-fearing culture that any alterations made to the body, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant, would actually be tampering with perfection. Our sole purpose is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever; He has written out our plan and has designed our bodies individually in order to be best prepared for what He has in store for us. When people start adding things like silicone implants or even tattoos and piercings, they start to alter the original design. If God wanted us to have those things, we would have been born that way. However, in a society where monotheism has been expelled, people will not view their bodies as Godly perfection.

Shows like “LA Ink and “Miami Ink” have glamorized tattoos and piercings. They show people like the gorgeous Kat Von Dee using her excellent gift of artistry to design and ink elaborate tattoos for celebrities and common folk alike. There is something almost magical about a celebrity getting a tattoo that makes people think it is okay to do the same. It leads back to the idea of polytheistic worship of people and feelings rather than desiring to serve one God with the bodies he has given us. Tattoo parlors, piercing pagodas, and plastic surgeons seem to line every corner of our streets. With the increased availability of these services to the public, the cheaper they become. With inexpensive services, more people will be willing to give body modifications a try. After people experiment with the more mild forms of tattoos, piercings, and plastic surgeries, they will want to try new things on their bodies. Things like skin braiding, coral horn implants, and branding have become increasingly popular in this case. With all of these options for modifications and alterations, people have endless abilities to change themselves into what they think is the best they can be.

Celebrities and popularity aside, the most important driving force behind the desire of a person to change is themselves. It is a proven psychological fact that people do not change unless they want to be changed and they desire to control their own bodies. Magazines, celebrities, and movies all contribute to the oppression of embracing true, natural beauty. They lead men and women to think poorly of themselves because they don’t look visually perfect. This, combined with the human desire to be attractive and feel wanted is a reprehensible recipe for disaster. We have to find a reason to look outside of ourselves and realize that beauty is simply a perception! Our souls mean much more than fading outer beauty; they are our only earthly constant – they will never change. Inner beauty is what needs to be focused on. When someone looks into the eyes of another, they can tell so much about that person because the soul is reflected in the eyes. When we live clean, follow good morals, and live for the right reasons, we have no need to look at ourselves and want to change the physical appearance. In the end everyone gets old and dies so what does outer beauty matter?

America’s nationwide desire for self-satisfaction is becoming an unavoidable epidemic. It barrages us at every corner from the moment we wake to when our heads hit the pillow at night. How long will the outlets we currently have for bodily mutilation last before people get bored and want to move on to the next new thing? When will the yearning to create a body that is physically attractive to other humans be thought of as frivolous? It is sad to stand by and watch people devalue themselves by participating in the revival of the worship of many gods through making altercations to their bodies. If we turned to God instead of humans for approval, Paganism would not even be an issue in America. We would be able to release one of the many strong grips Satan has on our society so we can begin the trek back to Christianity. It’s not impossible if we do it together and have faith for change. Greenwood sums it up best, “When we have looked on the pleasures of life, and they have vanished away; when we have looked on the works of nature, and perceived that they are changing; on the monuments of art and seen that they would not stand; on our friends, and they have fled while we were grazing; on ourselves and felt that we were fleeting as they; - We can look to the throne of God. The waves of eternity have been rushing past it; for change and decay cannot reach it.”

What Happens When...

2011-03-30T10:39:00.000-07:00

Take a little mental trip with me for a second. Imagine yourself in the most perfect form, nothing ales you, nothing hurts, you are the most beautiful creature you can be and you radiate a supernatural glow that is insanely alluring to every creature (think about Snow White). You are walking through a lush rain forest. All of the colors are freshly vibrant from the mist of the most recent rain fall. All of the leaves and petals glisten in the sparkles of sunlight. You are perfect and in a perfect Utopia. As long as you keep walking through the forest on this path at the same slow and steady pace, nothing bad can touch you because you are right where you are supposed to be. A tree branch could fall, but you don't jump because you know that as long as you stay right where you are it won't touch you. Life is bliss and everything is good. Okay. This is you when you are in the center of God's will.

Now, continue imagining yourself walking down this amazingly beautiful path drinking up every little joy the trail has to offer. You suddenly see a little foot path coming up on the right side of the trail and you stop to think about which path you should take. The path on the right is very narrow and looks kind of dangerous. It goes straight up a hill and you're sure that if you could only crest the top of that hill, you will see the most amazing sight of all. You don't know what it will be, but you have a feeling it will be worth it. You look back at the path you have been following on the left and suddenly realize that it's been the same forever and it looks like it's not going to change in the future. You start to realize you want some adventure... you just have to crest the top of that hill to see what it is going to overlook.

Against the warnings you initially feel in your gut, you slowly step off the left path and onto the one on the right. You go just a few steps to make sure everything is going to be okay. All of the creatures seem to still be following you, so you go a few steps more, and a few more. You notice that the trees are starting to grow thicker and the tree covering is starting to make the path kind of dark and hazy. You look back and see that a few of the animals have decided to go back to where it is light. You rationalize in your head to keep going. Surely the sight on the top of that hill will be worth it, they just don't know... they're scared.

So you keep plunking along slowly and timidly exploring your way up this steep, dark path to the top of the hill and suddenly fall on your face. You tripped because you could hardly see anything in front of you. You look to your animal friends to help you up and realize that they have all left you to go back to the light path. You try to grab onto roots to keep yourself from sliding back down the hill in the mud. After all, you've already made it all this way - you don't want to stop now. You're almost there. By now, it's mostly black. You are sweating profusely and you are covered in mud. The light you radiated only hours before seems to be gone and you can't see the path in front of you. You grope around frantically in the dark trying to find your way up this hill and are starting to wonder if your animal friends might have been right to just go back to the other trail. But in all your stubbornness you choose to press on so you can prove them wrong.

Finally, exhausted, muddy, sweaty, bruised and scraped you make it to the top of the hill. Your clothes are torn and your hair is a mess on top of your head. You close your eyes and walk to the edge so you can have a pleasant surprise. The reward for all of your hard work is right in front of you. The hours it took you to struggle to the top of this hill will all be put into perspective once you open your eyes and see the whole Utopia from way up high. You count to three and open your eyes.

As you open them your heart sinks to the bottom of your stomach. You see that a HUGE part of the beautiful rain forest has been burned down and destroyed. There is smoke and flames smoldering for as far as your eye can see. The sky is blood red and the smell of sulfur and ashes hang thick in the air.

You fall to the ground weeping with bitter disappointment. You struggled, you kept pressing on, you thought it would be worth it in the end to get to the top and see a spectacular sight. But there you are, weeping on the ground in pain with nothing but scars and dirty clothes to show for your struggle. You sit there and sob over not following your initial instinct to stay on the blissful path in Utopia where everything was fine and peachy. You sob over every time you looked back to find more and more of your animal friends turning back. Why didn't you listen to them? Why didn't you stay where you were beautiful? Why are you left a heaping filthy mess on the ground, your radiant beauty gone... your eyes, tired and lifeless?

The answer is simple. You said "I got this" and went kept going on against all the signs that were sent to you. Your curiosity got the best of you and you truly felt like you had to see what was on the other side of that hill. Now you have to figure out a way to get back to Utopia so you start back down the hill carefully. You go a little ways and find that the path is becoming more illuminated. You round a bend to find a few of your animal friends waiting there for you. When you realize they were waiting for you, you start running. You run as fast as you can all the way back down the hill and the closer you get to the path in Utopia, the more friends rejoin you.

You finally get back to the path in Utopia and your heart is glad that your friends didn't abandon you completely. When you get there you realize how different you look from when you started. You are filthy and ridiculous. How different this is from all of your friends who stayed back and waited for you to return to the light path. Not ever having faced this predicament before you have no idea what to do about it. Out of nowhere, a man kind looking man appears with white towel and a clean dress. He takes your hand and in a gentle voice says follow me. He leads you to a lush oasis of the bluest water you have ever seen. He helps you get cleaned up and brushes your hair. You don't understand why he is being so kind to you. After all, you were the one who chose to leave the path and do things on your own. You open your mouth to question him and he puts his finger to your lips to stop you and whispers, "Because I love you and I forgive you. That's why. Now, come back and join with your friends on the blissful path in Utopia." All of the anxiety that had built up in your body suddenly flees and you feel restored. You go back to the path in Utopia and everything is right as rain like nothing ever happened. Every once in a while memories of that horrible path come back to you and you stop, paralyzed in fear of making a choice like that again. But every time it happens, the kind man appears to take your hand and walk with you a little ways down the path.

This is what God does for his people. He pulls us back and cleans us up and brushes out hair and sets us back on the right path. We don't deserve such kindness, but he chooses to give it to us anyway. I'm smack in the middle of learning this myself, but I felt like he gave me this vision to share with you all. There is no mountain too far and no amount of filthiness that can keep you from his love and kindness. Friends, he WANTS to clean us up and walk a ways with us. He WANTS to love on us and help us in the rough times. We just have to get past the shame and embarrassment of our mistakes and let His divine love surround us and engulf us.

LET HIM LOVE YOU AND BRING YOU BACK TO HIM.

I'm Not Dead... I promise:)

2011-03-28T10:50:00.000-07:00

I've just been super busy. To be honest, I don't even remember what my last post was about or when it was. But the past three months have been a WHIRL WIND. It's hard to believe that it's already the end of March - only 5 weeks left to go until the end of the semester (ahhh the joy of getting out the first week of may!)

My first year of college has been absolutely nothing like what I had anticipated it to be my whole life. I think as a typical Pittsburgh teenagers, we tend to grow up expecting to go to college. I mean there are SOOO many here, and of all different varieties, surely everyone must find at least ONE that fits. We expect that we will have the opportunity to leave home and start our own lives living on campus somewhere away from the safety net our parents have built up around us. We long to be free and to experience life for ourselves and see what we can make out of it. It births both extreme excitement and fear in most to actually live out the perfect kodak moment good bye, standing on the front lawn of a campus waving teary-eyed as mom and dad drive away. This isn't reality for a lot of people. Including me :)

If you would have asked me in the fall where I was going to college, I would have nervously told you, "Well, right now I am at CCAC, but I am planning on transferring to (fill in the college of choice that week here) to study (whatever my whim was that week)". Never really owning my decision to go to community college. I guess no one really likes to own going to community college because of the stigma that they think goes along with it. You know, the ridiculous stereotype that "Thats where the people who couldn't get into 'real' college, or couldn't afford 'real' college go." While this may be true of some people, I have found that depending on which campus you go to, it's usually not the case. There are so many people who, like myself, don't know what they want to do and don't want to waste TONS money trying to figure it out.

I hated the idea of community college in the fall, but I knew I wasn't ready to leave home yet to be on my own. I think homeschooling had a lot to do with that. Not that it was a bad decision to home school in high school. I'm finding recently that like all decisions made in life, I made that choice and I have to own it. There is no sense in living with regret of anything because what's done is done, it's in the past, and can not be changed. Decisions build your repitore (sp?) of experiences and God uses everything to teach you something, you just have to look for it.

I lied to myself all the time trying to convince myself that the reason I wanted to stay at home was so I could learn what I wanted to learn when I wanted to learn it. If I were to be brutally honest, it was mostly a decision made out of fear and self consciousness. Like too many other teenage girls, I hated my body and was so 100% consumed in thinking of what others thought of me when we were conversating that I would get flustered because I wasn't paying attention to what the other person was saying enough to be able to ask questions and dig deeper. It's definitely something God has worked out in me over this first year of college, which I am SO thankful for! So, I'm pretty happy that I decided on community college for this year to give myself some time to grown up and come into my own and basically learn what college is about. And I think I'm ready to move on now. Fear isn't holding me back anymore from anything.

Can I just tell you, freedom from fear is probably the best feeling ever and I wish and hope and pray that you can find freedom from something that is tugging heavily on your heart strings today. God doesn't want us to live in fear or regret... that's Satan, my friends.

This song so perfectly describes what I am trying to say...

Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield

I am unwritten
Can't read my mind
I'm undefined

I'm just beginning
The pen's in my hand
Ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, oh

I break tradition
Sometimes my tries
Are outside the lines
We've been conditioned
To not make mistakes
But I can't live that way, no

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
To the years where your book begins
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
To the years where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
To the years where your book begins
Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
To the years where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten

So, I'm issuing a challenge to you (and myself) forgive yourself for the things that have happened in the past because you can't change them! Think about what God wants you to learn from the experience and just MOVE FORWARD! Feel the rain on your skin and live your life with arms wide open to whatever God has coming your way.

Loving Life

2011-01-21T07:14:00.000-08:00

I feel like my blog is dead. I haven't posted in months and there really isn't a good excuse. I have had nothing BUT time on my hands since the end of last semester (December 16th) which is also the day I quit working at Kohl's. (Best decision I made in a while- retail might be more enjoyable if it was a smaller store). Life has kind of just been floating along at an enjoyable slow pace- something that was definitely needed after my whirlwind fall season. Working 40+ hours a week and doing school on top of that is pretty stressful, but you know, I feel like it was exactly what I needed to cross the bridge from high school to becoming a young adult. Sheesh! I'm going to be 19 on the 29th! lol

I used to regret not going to a University for my freshman year of college, but honestly, I can see when God has been directing me the way he is. Well, let me correct that... I have a better idea of why. The vision still isn't clear, but He is letting me know just enough to keep my curiosity satisfied :) He is showing me that he is still here - and is making me more aware of His desire to use me for his purposes and that he loves me abundantly. He is my first love, and I can say that with a whole heart and no reservations. Through the little things he has made me love and trust Him with my life. There is no need to worry about the future, because He already knows what is in store for it. If we spend our few short years here on Earth worrying all the time, we aren't going to enjoy life to it's fullest!

I pray, friends, that you know this amazing feeling of freedom through the love that Jesus shows for us.

P.S.

My new years resolution is to try and post more than once every 3 months :)

Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder

2010-11-03T06:56:00.001-07:00

I don't know how long that quote has been said, but it is absolutely a truth. It has been a struggle since my tween years to find value in myself and I know I am not alone in this. I felt like I needed to impress people with my smarts, athletics, or Godliness to feel self worth. But dear friends, this is NOT so! Our loving father makes it evident that all of His creation He finds to be beautiful... after all, we are made in HIS image! He values wisdom and understanding as some of the most important character traits in His followers. Proverbs is chalk full of verses that decisively demonstrate the need for both, and how obtaining them will make us beautiful. In Proverbs 4, He says, "Wisdom is supreme, therefore get wisdom. Though it will cost all you have, get understanding. Esteem her, and she will exalt you; embrace her and she will honor you. She will set a garland of grace upon your head and present you with a crown of splendor."

How lovely does that sound? Garlands of grace and crowns of splendor aren't old school, friends. They are what make us attractive. We will age, and our outer beauty will fade... but our warm, golden, Christ-like, wisdom-loving glow will remain the same until we meet our awe-inspiring creator face-to-face. Obtain wisdom and understanding and ignite your inner glow of beauty for the world to see.

2010-10-15T07:14:00.000-07:00

Balanced Rock at Sunset, Arches National Park, Moab, Utah

Wait and See - Brandon Heath

I was born in Tennessee
Late July humidity
Doctor said I was lucky to be alive
I've been trouble since the day that I got here

Trouble till the day that I disappear
That'll be the day that I finally get it right
There is hope for me yet
Because God won't forget

All the plans he's made for me
I have to wait and see He's not finished with me yet
I never really was that good in school
I talked too much, broke the rules

Teacher thought I was hopeless fool alright
I don't know how but I made it through
It's one of those things that you've gotta do
But I always had a knack for telling the truth

Chorus
Still wondering why I'm here
Still wrestling with my fear
But oh, He's up to something
And the farther on I go

I've seen enough to know
That I'm, not here for nothing
He's up to something
So now's my time to be a man

Follow my heart as far as I can
No telling where I'm ending up tonight
I never slow down or so it seems
But singing my heart it's one of my dreams
All I gotta do is hold on tight

That is one of the first songs I heard on K Love when we finally got the station here in Pittsburgh. It's been one of my favorites since, because its such a hope filled song. Even when we are in the depths of despair (as Anne Shirley would put it) we can cling to the hope that God is working it for our good. We are going through this for a reason- it's helping to sculpt us spiritually to make us the most beautiful shining lights we can be. He's NOT finished with us yet, and he won't forget all the plans he has made for us- though it may seem like that sometimes! It's another one of those truths about God.

Think about the tough times as God making you lose spiritual weight. Instead of leading you to the gym door and making you go in and work out by yourself, he is going to be there holding your hand and encouraging you (or allowing encouragement from others in your life) to help lift your spirits. Working out is tedious, frustrating, and almost always makes you sweat, but the results are usually worth it! Keep up the good work friends! He is NOT finished with us yet.

When We Have Been Brought to the Edge

2010-10-14T07:48:00.000-07:00

The Green River Overlook at Sunset, Canyonlands National Park, Moab, Utah

Have you ever felt like you have been brought to the edge of a cliff? (In the case of the picture above, the drop off is over 2,000 feet...) You feel dry, at a loss- you've been wandering around in the desert like the Israelites in Exodus. A decision you have to make is haunting you and you can't seem to get a clear read on what God is telling you? You keep knocking on doors to have the open slightly, then they just slam in your face? You might have prayed endlessly and have not seen any semblance of an answer. You wait on God, but you mix up your thoughts with what you think God is telling you... leaving you even MORE confused?

I think all of us get to that situation at some point or another. And it is in those times that it is hard to just be still and wait on God. Psalms 46:10 says, "Be still and know that I am God." Taken for face value it might seem a little childish.... of course God is God. But when you think about the character traits that make HIM God is when you can rest knowing he has everything under control. You know He is a God who is constant- he won't EVER change. He has been the same forever, and will always continue to be the same forever. He is a Father who loves His children. He won't EVER give you more than you can handle. He will always send comfort to his children in need. He IS near to the broken hearted. He WILL answer you- but in HIS timing for your good and His ultimate glory. These are things that are promises and truths about our dear Father. The evil one will try to distort Him in your heart to make you feel alone, dejected, and depressed... but when you hit that dry spot, I challenge you to look at what you KNOW to be true about God. Just as with Joshua, He will never leave you nor forsake you because you have been redeemed and been invited to feast at the Father's table. You are loved by someone who's love is deeper and farther reaching than anyone who lives on the Earth. You have the "big guy" on your side. Be still, and KNOW that He is God. Wait patiently for your answer, because it will come.

Fresh Water

2010-10-12T07:02:00.000-07:00

Mesa Arch at Sunrise- Canyonlands National Park, Moab, Utah

^"9With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. ¹⁰Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. ¹¹Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? ¹²My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water."

-James 3:9-12

God put these verses on my heart this morning and I thought they would make a great follow up to yesterday's post about being set apart. It's a great analogy to remember that we are different... we can not be fresh water springs and all of a sudden start giving off salt water. It's not who we are or who we were made to be. And if we DO start giving off salt water, something must be seriously wrong!

James is probably one of my most favorite books in the Bible... it's short, but OH SO potent! One could easily spend months reading it verse by verse and gaining knowledge on how we are called to live. It's convicting and inspiring at the same time - but that is SO God! He doesn't want us to live in condemnation, he wants us to realize the error of our ways, repent, and move forward. Know that no matter how big you think the sin is, God sees every sin the same. It's really hard to think of it like that, because as humans we tend to see murder, for instance, as a worse sin than gossiping.

A friend of mine used this picture once as an example... Think of a milk jug. After we have used it some we can see from the side how much milk is left in the jug. If you look in to it from the top, you can't tell how much has been used because you don't have a reference point. This is how God sees sin from the top with no reference point. He not only KNOWS that we are going to sin... he expects us to. With that said, he has an over abundance of grace just waiting to be poured all over us when we realized what we have done and return to Him. No sin is too big or too small for our Father to forgive.

There is Hope For Us Yet!

2010-10-11T07:16:00.000-07:00

'... ²We always thank God for all of you, mentioning you in our prayers. ³We continually remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.

⁴For we know, brothers loved by God, that he has chosen you, ⁵because our gospel came to you not simply with words, but also with power, with the Holy Spirit and with deep conviction. You know how we lived among you for your sake. ⁶You became imitators of us and of the Lord; in spite of severe suffering, you welcomed the message with the joy given by the Holy Spirit. ⁷And so you became a model to all the believers in Macedonia and Achaia. ⁸The Lord's message rang out from you not only in Macedonia and Achaia—your faith in God has become known everywhere. Therefore we do not need to say anything about it, ⁹for they themselves report what kind of reception you gave us. They tell how you turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God, ¹⁰and to wait for his Son from heaven, whom he raised from the dead—Jesus, who rescues us from the coming wrath."

- 1 Thessalonians 1 (AMSV, From biblegateway.com)

~~~

It is so hard to read this passage and not think of America. We are in the midst of a downhill spiral in faith, actions, and love. We, as Christians have been beaten down for our faith, maybe not individually, but through the media and a variety of other outbreaks during this holy war. We are weary, maybe even hopeless - how could God ever redeem a culture that has SO openly rejected Him and the way he calls us to live? It is hard to leave the world behind to take up our cross and follow him when we must leave every worldly thing we have ever worked for behind... it takes all of us together to do it. To know that you are a part of something bigger... an American Revival in spirituality. We must leave what feels good behind! We can't become comfortable with the selfish American lifestyle. We are CALLED to something different, that people may see how we choose to live our lives as a testament to the Lord's good work in us and become jealous- jealous of our peace and joy and WANT what we have.

" ²³ And he said unto all, If any man would come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. ²⁴ For whosoever would save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it."

- Luke 9:23-24

Think about this for just a moment. These are Jesus' words directly to his followers. Whosoever would save his life- meaning all of the things he has worked for in the world- shall lose it. BUT whosoever shall lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it. The question has been continually popping up in my head... what are my vices? What is it that I am NOT willing to lose from my worldly life in order to take up my cross and serve my King? And why on earth is it so important?

We must ban together to win America back... we aren't going to do it on our own, but together our warm Christlike glow will bring light back into this horribly darkened America we call home.

SUBMIT!

2010-10-06T21:57:00.001-07:00

Yea... thats what I have been telling my body for the past two months since starting college and working at kohls. I'm slowly losing the battle... I have an eye infection and I just plain feel like junk. Something HAS GOT TO GIVE! Or maybe I just need to adjust to it?

It's been a crazy past few months... I never thought that the summer after senior year would be so busy. I also couldn't have imagined how much I have learned either... I mean between all the traveling I have done, being out with school and work, I feel like I have a wealth of experiences under my belt. I have met SO many people... probably more over the past 4 months than in the last 4 years... literally. Its weird to be making my own life. Working with people my family doesn't know, schooling with people I don't really know, paying for my own car insurance, gas, phone, clothes, and a myriad of other things. It's all just so strange. But I have come to embrace it, I think... I have taken a while to come around from digging my heels into the dirt and screaming "I DON'T WANT TO GROW UP!" to "Ehhh maybe this isn't so bad after all."

Life has just changed so dramatically. I don't have many friends, but the ones I have are SO dear to me. You all know who you are :) They are all such blessings to me and my walk with the Lord. They are my iron... and I am so grateful.

God has filled me with contentment with where I am right now. I am single... I am 18... and I love Jesus. He provides the money I need, my family, and a house over my head. He is starting to build a picture of what my future man will be like, and I have learned in the last few weeks that it is WELL worth waiting for. The girl whose wedding I second shot for last Saturday had a list of 46 (compared to my... oh what was it Megh... 80 some? lol) things she wanted in a man and the guy she married fit 44 of the 46 and she realized that the other two were forgivable :) But still... 44 out of 46 isn't too shabby! I have hope and I know that he will come when the time is right. I am out in the world making a name for myself, what else is there to do but pray and wait?

Lastly, I want to share a little phrase with you all that has changed my life. It's going to sound ridiculous, but seriously... this mandatory Kohl's policy is worth adopting. "Smile and Say Hi!" The first week I started working it was SO akward and I used the "Only if we make eye contact will I smile and I sure as heck am not saying hi" idea. But within a few weeks I was smiling and saying hi to people, not only in kohls but at school, old navy, giant eagle, ect. A smile and a hi is infectious... people even in horrible moods will smile and say hi back. It just makes the general mood of the people that you surround yourself with a lot more positive.

I DARE you! Smile and say hi to a stranger today. And you know... you can't refuse a dare :)

So

2010-10-02T06:46:00.000-07:00

I've really gone and done it this time... I have committed blog crime. My last post was July 27th or something...yea so over 2 months ago. lol What can I say? Life have been busy to the fullest extent it has ever been... I'm working 34 hour per week at Kohl's and still babysit at least 8 hours per week AND go to school 10 hours per week. It's pretty insane, and my family is beginning to think I only come home for food and sleep. It's so unfortunate, but at this time of the year... it's true. In addition to all of my regular work, I still do photography and am working on writing a babysitting guide for teens. I'm not complaining... life is great and God is really blessing it right now. I am so appreciative of it.

Currently, I am in West Chester (a suburb of Philadelphia, PA) visiting with some old friends. I drove all the way out here by myself yesterday and it only took 5.5 hours and 3 stops! Yesterday, Kelli took me on a little tour of WC... it is so cute! It reminds me a little of Mt. Lebo, but there are more shops and and they cover more blocks. It's also pretty historic, Kelli showed me the site of where Abraham Lincoln's first biography was published. The house is now converted into a small tea room. They also have consignment shops and vintage stores galore! Meg and Sara, you guys would LOVE it here!

Today, I will be adding two more states to my list of eighteen states visited this year for a total of 20! 20 states in one year isn't too bad :) lol. We will be heading to Maryland by way of Delaware... we are apparently only 15 minutes away from the Delaware border right now and to get to the part of Maryland where we will be photographing the wedding, it's quickest to go through Delaware! So, I'm excited! lol I can't wait to learn from Kelli about wedding photography! She is one of my top 5 favorites... if not number 1. You should definitely check her site out at... www.kellicohee.com She's good!

Talk to you all soon!

Update

2010-07-25T07:01:00.000-07:00

Hey There Followers :)

I just realized I havent updated my blog since my third day, and we are now on the tenth! I have been posting most of my images to facebook because they have an easier uploading system. Here is the link to the album they are in...

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=76477&id=1221222007&l=95b02527da

TOday we are headed back to Zion National Park after it the Virgin River flooded yesterday. It became a very dangerous situation especially in the Slot Canyons in the Narrows. When we left last night, there were life-flights everywhere. They could really use your prayers.

~Danielle

Day Three of Seventeen: Complete

2010-07-18T22:16:00.000-07:00

Alright guys... this one will be short and sweet since it is 11:28 Mountain Time and 1:28 Eastern Time. My body has yet to adjust, so hopefully soon.

Today we drove through the rest of beautious Iowa, all of Nebraska (boring and flat as ever), and landed in Longmont, CO. We got to see the Rockey Mountains from about 2 hours away and they have been teasing us ever since. There is SO SO much I could write about, but I am just SUPER tired!

In short, today was pretty cool. We started out at Java Joe's for coffee in downtown Des Moines and headed west west west till we saw the Rockies :) I also got to see the ORIGINAL pony express office. It was this cute little house-looking building. I'll post pictures of it tomorrow hopefuly. We made a few photographic stops along the way, but will be spending the entirety of tomorrow in the Park and hopefully ending with dinner on Pearl Street- the local "cultural district" of Boulder. Needless to say.... I am BESIDE myself with excitement to actually be able to see real live mountains.

Ta ta for now from Longmont, Colorado!

~Danielle

Day Two of Seventeen: Complete

2010-07-17T19:18:00.000-07:00

Ahhhh. It feels SO nice to be sitting my my nice comfy bed at out hotel in Downtown Des Moine, Iowa. We drove through Ohio, Indiana, Illinois and half of Iowa today.

I drove from a few miles outside of Chicago to where we ate dinner in Kellogg, Iowa. It was called "Iowa's Best Burgers Cafe," A quaint little diner cafe thing in a tiny one horse town. Everyone seemed to know everyone there and it was filled with cute elderly couples and a PT Cruiser Club... YES. "Iowa's Cruisers" Thats what they call themselves... there were probably about 6 parked all in a row. Some with flames, some with cool paint jobs, and one with Betty Boop decals. It was funny because we could instantly identify them when we walked into the restaurant- they all had matching LIME green t-shirts.

I guess that's what they do here in Iowa. There really isn't much other than corn, corn, alfalfa sprouts, a cow, and more CORN. But really... it is SO SO beautiful. It's not like PA corn. It's greener and prettier, they sky is bluer, and the air smells sweeter. I love it.

Anyway, the 1/4 pound burger I got was seriously one of the best I have ever tasted...

This is me outback of the diner we ate at tonight. It was literally a building in the midst of a corn field. Something I found helpful was to travel in a skirt. It's flow-y and non-constricting. Plus, it is expandable so you can drink a lot of water and not have to "make stops" as often.

It's crazy being on a road trip without my family... and pretty quiet too. We drove a total of 11.5 hours today and it didn't even seem like it. There were a few boring spots, but mostly the drive was easy (past the chicago construction) quite straight and flat. We watched the first half of the new Emma and it is already on my list of top five favorites.

Tomorrow we will be driving through the second half of Iowa, Nebraska, and Colorado. Monday we will be in the Rockies!

The only good shot I got with my camera today. It doesn't do the scene any justice. Hopefully I'll be able to snag a few more tomorrow on the road.

Much love from Des Moines, Iowa!

~Danielle

Day One of Seventeen: Complete

2010-07-16T19:30:00.000-07:00

Well my dear followers, Jenn and I have officially reached our first destination point... Cleveland, Ohio. We had to drop off Jenn's dog, Buddy to her Brother so we can enjoy the next few weeks slobber free :)

Something I thought was kind of funny, and maybe some of you can relate... it seems like the best sunsets I catch are usually in the parking lot at Wal-Mart. Call me crazy, but I think there just might be Wal-Marts in heaven - even if just so we can stand in the parking lot to see the beautifully painted sky.

We'll be up bright and early tomorrow morning... eight am. Not looking too forward to it seeing as seconds are being subtracted from my sleep time for every key I type :) There probably won't be too much to say tomorrow because we'll be in he car driving through some SUPER flat country where it's mostly populated by ears of corn. But if there is anything interesting, I'll be sure to keep you posted.

Much Love from Cleveland,

~Danielle

It's Almost Time!

2010-07-15T07:58:00.000-07:00

Hey there blog followers! I added a few emails to my list to receive updates while I am on the road. If you are getting the posts via email, can you send me a quick message telling me so? If you aren't on the email list and want to be, also please send me a message. I'll hopefully be posting farewell pictures tomorrow evening from Cleveland!

If you think about Jenn or I at any point over the next few weeks, please pray for us! We would greatly appreciate prayers for safety during all of the legs of our journey to discover the Lord's beautiful America!

Much love,

~Danie

Where I come from, rain is a good thing :)

2010-07-11T07:29:00.000-07:00

Lol. I know... cheesy quote from a Luke Bryan song, but it's been stuck in my head for the past week and it's so true! I am so grateful that it rained Friday night so it was a perfect day for my Grad party yesterday. A beautiful 80 degrees and a big blue sky made an awesome setting for it. I was so grateful at how many friends and family came. Even people I hadn't even expected to come showed up to celebrate and eat some good food - thanks to the world's most amazing party tag team... Gram and Mom. hahaha. Seriously. The party would not have been the same without their planning it.

It's so weird that it's over. Like everything. School, graduation, the party. It was even more odd that the party last night was all about me. I loved it. haha don't get me wrong :) But I never had to be the hostess to so many people! I was incredibly blessed and deeply grateful for the presence of all who came to show their support. I have awesome friends and family. So thank you!

One last thing... if you took pictures at my party, would you possibly be able to either make me a CD or email them to me? I have ONE picture... and it's of my cake. So I would sincerely appreciate any pictures that you have :) Gracias in advance!

Graduation

2010-06-20T07:24:00.000-07:00

Well, it's official! I am no longer in high school! Though I have been done with school for three weeks, it wasn't until the ceremony that it hit me. I have (WE have) worked for 12 years for this moment and it gave me the butterflies and chilly willies. The blue book in the picture is my diploma and the gold cord is to distinguish the students who graduated with high honors. When Dr. Swan had all of the 2010 graduates stand up and face the audience I looked over at my friend Meghan with a huge smile and said, "We DID IT!" and we both started crying. It was an experience unlike any other that I have felt before. I went with the thought of this being so weird and strange because I was going to meet a bunch of people I didn't know- but was pleasantly shocked when they made all of us feel like an actual graduating class, like one big unit of kids who have known each other forever. It was just amazing and I seriously recommend going to commencement for EVERY high school senior who can. It will encourage you for the work you have done to earn your diploma and will motivate you to want to do well in the future.

Thank you to everyone who has been an important factor in my graduation. It has been a LONG, bumpy, and winding ride, but the view from the place I'm in right now is awesome!

What I've been up to

2010-06-06T19:24:00.000-07:00

Yes, it has been one and a half months since my last update... and for that, my dear readers, I am ashamed. Well, maybe not ashamed. What can I say? I've been busy! With working about 30 hours a week between three baby sitting jobs and umpiring for softball, there has been school, MY softball games, photography, planning for a seventeen day vacation, a trip to Hershey AND to Texas, planning for another trip to Hershey for commencement, planning for a graduation partyand trying to jam friend time in between.

So, I've pretty much been off the radar, but hey... I'm still alive :)

There is so much that I want to talk about, but have no idea where to start. I'm afraid my writing will reflect my brain. For example: While umpiring today, my dad came down to the field and I asked him if he could go to the concession stand to get me a drink. I was standing right in front of my water bottle and had totally forgotten about it. I'm overwhelmed, but I at least have some sense of a direction to begin walking. :) Lets just say the past is in the past, and if you want to hear about my crazy, insane last couple of months, we can catch up in person!

Friday, June 11, 2010, will be my last official day of High School. Ever. Yea, I can't wait! Then the following Thursday, June 17, is when I walk. I'm pretty sure we are going to be able to see Gettysburg and Chambersburg while we're out there, so I'm dually excited.

Then my graduation party is July 10th, and I leave for my seventeen day photographic adventure to America's south west on July 16. I'll be back here on August 1.

I hope to keep you all up to date with my "crazy travelling fool" adventures, as Jenn would put it. But just in case... here are my internet links where you can see my latest pictures.

Facebook Albums - Best way to see a lot of my pictures in their series.

Flickr - To keep up with my 65 Days of Gratefulness Collection

DS Photography Website

Please Vote for Me!

2010-04-23T08:27:00.001-07:00

I entered another photography contest... please vote for my entry here!

http://vote-ivillage.cafepress.com/contest/home/showEntryDetail/1479?offset=0

Thanks!

Do You Know Your Unalienable Rights?

2010-04-19T22:04:00.000-07:00

How can some people honestly say that a woman having an abortion is not taking a life? It is something that was there and now is not. It could have lived, but will not because someone decided they did not want it. They took the role of God into their own hands and decided a person's fate based on their feelings and emotions rather than considering others. It makes me weep inside to think about how many beautiful babies have not been given the opportunity to see God's Creation. Their RIGHT to life has been taken away by another human who selfishly decided to eject it for some personal reason or another- because America is saying that it is the woman's right to do so. Just because it's legal here in the US doesn't mean you should do it. I did a little research and think you should read this...

" We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness."

This, my friends, is the first sentence of The Declaration of Independence. You might have heard the saying "If our Founding Fathers could see America today, they would roll over in their grave." And MY WORD is it the truth. The first line says "... all men are created equal, that they are endowed with certain UNALIENABLE Rights, that among these are LIFE, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness..." I double-checked Merriam Webster Online and the definition of the word "unalienable" is "incapable of being alienated, surrendered, or transferred." Now, I'm not the most logical person I know, but if unalienable means that the aforementioned rights can not be taken away from you, and the woman who is an American citizen is pregnant with a baby who, IF born, would be considered an American citizen, isn't that taking the American Baby's UNALIENABLE right to life away? It then goes on to state this,

"...That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness..."

If it is law makers in the Legislative Branch of the American Government who are passing laws that go DIRECTLY against what out Declaration of Independence stands for, it is OUR RIGHT as Americans to abolish this government and begin to form a new one that we think will work better for everyone. Under this (and previous) administrations we have had to fight to keep our unalienable rights, and we seem to be losing more and more as time goes on. What is the loop hole in the rather strongly worded statement our Fore Fathers wrote? How can that be unclear? If the government is being destructive, it is our job to fix it. Now they are trying to limit our ability to pursue happiness in the form of owning a small business. What will be next America? Will we have to report where we are at all times? That seems to be the last of the three founding principles of our country left to be taken away. Protect our LIFE, LIBERTY, and the PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS. Establish morals that do not erase the value of these things. Stand up for them and defend them as if your life depended on it. You never know... some day it just might.

Even when your hope is gone, move along.

2010-04-15T12:35:00.000-07:00

"When all you've got to keep is strong// Move along, Move along like I know ya do// And even when your hope is gone// Move along, Move along just to make it through// Move along."

- "Move Along" by The All-American Rejects

That song popped into my head this morning as I was babysitting. I wish the whole song in general was actually intended to move me how it did, but I don't think it was. I always seem to find an alternate meaning in songs than what is actually there. I have found recently, as I radio surf while K-Love plays a song I don't like, the stark difference between the two worlds of music. One is totally and completely GOD glorifying, while the other is totally and completely SELF glorifying. Prime example- here is the chorus from the Francesca Battistelli song "Beautiful, Beautiful".

"Like sunlight burning at midnight
Making my life something so
Beautiful, beautiful
Mercy reaching to save me
All that I need
You are so
Beautiful, beautiful"

I love that song. I sing it all day long in my head. It uses "my life" as a means of redirecting praise to God in everything. Success and failures. Compare that to "I Made It" by Kevin Rudolf, Birdman, Jay Sean, and Lil' Wayne.

"I look up to the sky

And all the world is mine

I've known it all my life

I made it, I made it

I used to dream about

The life I'm living now

I know that there's no doubt

I made it, I made it."

It makes me sad. Honestly and truly. I love the sound of the song and the voices of the guys who sing it, but really. ONLY in the chorus, they used the word "I" a total of 9 times and made no reference or hint that their success in life had anything to do with something other than themselves. They are wasting there talent on a cause that will burn in the end. When we are given a talent, we are supposed to use it to help win people over for the kingdom, rather than fill people's minds with self-gratifying thoughts of "I MADE IT". I want to tell them, "No, you really didn't make it. You think you did. And in this life, you might have... but what will your success matter in one thousand years from now?" What matters is how you decide to use your gift. And if you use it to bring yourself glory instead of God, you'll have to answer for it in the end.

What I am not saying is that ALL secular music is bad, just a lot of it. No matter how much we can try to deceive ourselves into thinking we have control over it, in the end... what goes in will most definitely come out in some way, shape or form. Whether it be muttering swear words under your breath, thinking impure thoughts, or caving in to pressure. We have to stay strong!

Our generation is in some serious trouble... not because we are supposedly "running out of clean water" or even because of global warming. There is a MUCH more harmful pollutant silently creeping into our lives without notice. No, its not radon- its music. As hard as it is (I know from experience) to filter through some seemingly amazing masterpieces of music, you have to think about more than just the moment... does it have eternal value? What is this song trying to convey emotionally? Does is have any alternate meanings? Many songs do. And often I wonder if the writer felt something spiritual as he/she wrote the song.

Something that helps me when trying to decide whether or not to leave the radio on a song is to ask myself- what emotion does this song evoke in me, and can that emotion be used to help me in life? Either one of two things will happen, I have to fight to lift my hand off the steering wheel to change the station, or listen to the song with a new appreciation for it. It's hard, and I don't always do it BECAUSE its hard. But in the end when we stand on God's throne to be judged, will God say to us, "You did it. Yourself. How much easier would it have been with me helping you from above?" Or will he say, "Well done, MY GOOD and FAITHFUL servant. You may now enter my kingdom?"

Grand Canyon!

2010-04-08T18:29:00.000-07:00

So it's been about a month and a half since I wrote last. I'm getting bad at this whole blogging thing. It's because I am SO busy! lol. For instance, I've been planning for a 17 day trip to the American South West at the end of July! If you want to see the itinerary let me know and I can send it to you! Jenn and I both LOVE Photography, and we will be going through 15 states and visit 5 National Parks (Arches, Bryce Canyon, Zion, The Grand Canyon, and another one that I can't remember). Needless to say, I am SO incredibly beside myself with excitement! Please pray for me that God will provide the money for the trip and that it goes well.

15/65 Days of Gratefulness Check it Out

2010-02-19T14:26:00.000-08:00

Hello Everyone! I just wanted to let you all know about the first photography collection that I am working on. It's called "65 Days of Gratefulness" and it's intended to make me think about the positive side of life everyday through the dreary months of winter. You can see them on my Facebook Page or my Flickr Set. Hope you all enjoy :)

Snowpocalypse

2010-02-11T08:24:00.000-08:00

This is our back yard on Saturday afternoon. I couldn't believe how BLUE the sky was after such a miserable storm. This has minimal post-processing, only a few minor adjustments to correct the white balance.

Oh my my my! I have has enough of the snow! In Spanish today, we were learning about nature... the Spanish term for "storm" is "la tormenta", and boy, I can understand why! The school district we live in has been cancelled ALL week so far because they don't have power. We went for 27 hours without it and it was bad, but now we are hearing about our friends who didn't have it for four days! Its absolutely crazzzzzzy!

This is the house across the street from us at 11 pm Friday night. I couldn't believe how light it was outside... it looked like it was morning.

We all have cabin fever SO SO bad! Some of my friends were complaining about how bad it is to be stuck in the house with their one other sibling... I couldn't help but to think, "Gee! Try 4 siblings!" But really, it hasn't been so bad except for when we went without power. I ventured to Wal-Mart on Tuesday to buy some yarn for a project I am working on, and you would not believe how INSANE people were! The parking lot was slush, and people who did not have handicap stickers were parking in the reserved spaces. This forced people that actually needed the spaces to park on the street closest to the building, so when I would drive up an isle and try to turn, I couldn't see what was coming. It was quite scary, but hey! I did get a front row space :)

Dillon in his freakish snow gear. He scared us multiple times walking through the back yard because he would turn around and all you would see is skeleton.

Did you all hear about the guy who is being charged with assault by snowblower?! Here is the link....http://kdka.com/local/snow.blower.assault.2.1486830.html

Absolutely ridiculous! With all the work that has to be done plowing the roads, they are worrying about that. It is so silly! Forgive and forget, people.

This is our neighbor's driveway. One of the trees from the property line fell over into her driveway (right behind where I was standing) and they weren't able to leave their houses.

On Tuesday, we dug a tunnel through the 4 foot snowbank on the side of the road. This is Dillon and Doug inside one end, while I was in the other to snap the picture... what good friends they are! LOL.

The snow on top of our house was crazy! My mom said that at night, everything was SO quiet that she could actually hear the snow fall on the roof from the tree branches.

Oh Punxsutawney Phil, you are at the TOP of my list right now, buddy. Stay safe and keep warm!

Freshness. Oldness. And everything in between.

2010-02-01T10:16:00.000-08:00

Wow. I can't believe that I have made it on the earth for 18 years!

I remember when I was little I used to be SO afraid of dying young and not get to experience life. I'm not sure where the fear stemmed from, but I think it was a natural thing. It was probably because I was unsure of whether I would go to Heaven or Hell, and Hell was a really scary place for a little girl (and a big girl for that matter). It was a deeply rooted anxiousness that I found myself thinking about all the time late at night when I was supposed to be going to sleep. I would get so worked up thinking about it that I would start crying. Looking back on it, I realize that it was because I didn't trust God with my future.

It wasn't until just recently that I made the comparison between then and now. I am sure of my salvation, so I'm not afraid of dying, but I am scared of my future because I can't see the road around this bend. For all I know, it could be a plush meadow or it could be a stormy river. But I DO know that God loves me and that he has my best in mind. He is writing my story for His glory and even if the road brings me to a stormy river, He will equip me with the tools I need to get across alive. He shows me that in my life every SINGLE day because I ask him to. (even in things as simple as him providing countless babysitting jobs for me each week.) I am so in love with Him and so amazed by how much he loves me. It causes me to have true joy and happiness in who I am knowing that he created me to love Him and that it's a reciprocated thing- not one-sided. I wish everyone in the whole entire world could know how fulfilling this feeling is. It makes me feel full and allows me to know that it doesn't matter where I go to college or what I do for the rest of my life... I have to take it bend by bend and rely solely on the fact that he has my good in mind.

Check out my Flickr site for an update on my 65 Days of Gratefulness Project :)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/imove

2010-01-22T06:51:00.000-08:00

Here are some more images I have edited over the past week. I decided that I am going to start a 65 days project on my Flickr site. (www.flickr.com/photos/imove) I'll keep them on public in case you want to check it out. Basically, I'll upload an image every day that shows something I am grateful for.

Who Do You Create For?

2010-01-13T07:21:00.000-08:00

This article is so amazing, and it puts to words the thoughts I have been trying to express for a while. Enjoy :)

"Who do we create for?

We like to picture the lone artist, toiling away in his studio for hours, producing art for art’s sake. It’s cool (kind of) to be the song writer who writes music only for himself and doesn’t sell out to the masses. Stay true to yourself. Stay true to art.

But I don’t really buy that.

Our creative powers come from God. He gave them to us to be used for His purposes. I don’t get to decide what I want to do with my talents. I can’t write music for the music’s sake.

So then why do art? Why take photos? Why organize a room? Why create a spreadsheet? What should be our driving motive?

Isaiah 43:6-8 gives purpose to every project:

I will say to the north, Give up,

and to the south, Do not withhold;

bring wmy sons from afar

and wmy daughters from the end of the earth,

7 everyone who is called by my name,

whom I created for my glory,

whom I formed and made.”

I will say to the north, Give up, and to the south, Do not withhold; bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the end of the earth, everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made.

God is the premier, ultimate artist. He formed me. He animated my body and organized my DNA. And He made me so that I might give Him glory. In other words, I exist on planet Earth to show the greatness of God. Everything I do flows out of that purpose.

My creativity exists to bring honor to God. I don’t create for my honor. I don’t create for the sake of creating. I create for the glory of God. I create to show the greatness of God.

This plays out in a thousand different ways. If you write a piece of great music, and then give thanks to God for the gift of music, that honors God. If you create a spreadsheet with excellence, so that every formula works and no numbers are missing, that brings honor to God. If you organize a room, bringing order to what once was chaos, that honors God.

I can’t spell out all the implications. Each of us is responsible for figuring out how we are to be creative for the glory of God. The point is that we are to create, and it’s to be for God’s glory."

-Article from http://www.theblazingcenter.com/2010/01/on-creativity-part-2.html (written by Stephen Altrogee)

It reminds me of the verse in Corinthians, "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." Everything we create whether it is a song, or a photograph, or a painting, we are supposed to honor and glorify God through it.

Accepted!

2010-01-12T07:00:00.000-08:00

Sorry I took me so long to post this! This past Saturday, I received my acceptance letter from Waynesburg University! I was/am so excited, and thought I would share the good news with you all.

Also, I wanted to let you all know about a give-away! If you are a blogger and are interested in having a new header made for your blog, put your name in a comment and a way to contact you. I'll put the comments on moderator approval only so your personal info won't be published. When I randomly pick the winner, I will get in contact with you to start the designing process. This give-away is not limited to only people who follow the blog, so tell your blogging friends about it too!

Random Stuff

2010-01-06T11:26:00.001-08:00

Today is the one year anniversary of my blog! So in order to celebrate, I am going to try to do a follower collage. If you are interested in participating, send me your most favorite picture (it can be one you have taken, or one off the internet) and one way that God met you in 2009. I will create a collage out of all of the images and post your quote under it. Email or message me by January 9th with your submission and it will be featured on my blog the following Monday.

Here are a few of the things I have been doing recently...

I created a National History Day Website for my Honors Modern World Studies Class. If you want to see it, click here.

<<<>

g to be doing one of my little sis soon :) (the picture doesn't do it much justice... it looks much better in person.)

I sent in my college applications and have been fighting with Agora about sending my transcripts.

I have been doing various GIMP 2 Tutorials... here are a few of the results...

It's basically just to teach myself how to do graphic design and how to use GIMP 2 (a free graphic program that is highly comparable to Photoshop. I definitely recommend it to those of you who want to dabble in graphic design.) There are tons of tutorials on the internet. A couple of sites I have found to be helpful are...

Tutorilaized.com

GIMP Tutorials.net

They are both pretty good at explaining how to do things step by step, allowing you to go back and change things to be how you want them.

God has been so good to provide me with another babysitting job! They are an awesome family with three adorable kids. So far, things have been going really well with them, and they have me come over two times per week. Thank you GOD!

I'll be 18 in 22 days. That's so weird. I can vote in the 2012 election. I could buy a monster-size throwing knife if I wanted to, and if I got really crazy, I could get a tattoo (don't worry mom, that's never going to happen :-P).

But yea, I have been thinking a lot about my childhood... remembering things and reacting in two different ways. "Wow. Was I BAD!" and "Wow! How amazing is God!" SO when I think of that time I stole tomatoes out of my neighbors garden at the old house, or that time I chased a girl with scissors and called her a dummy bear, or the time I put juicy juice in my dad's coffee, or when I caught the microwave on fire with Erin, or when I thought that Sprite gave me the "silly-willys" I can know that it was all just a part of being a kid. I'm not what one might have considered to be an angel, but hey! Look on the bright side... I didn't get sent to prison for not wearing my bike helmet either! I have said stuff I regret, but God has been helping me to see that rather than condemning myself for it, look at it as a learning experience and a chance to realize that I have been forgiven. Before Jesus, I would have gone to hell for taking that tomato (or those twenty tomatoes) from my neighbor's garden without him knowing. It's not abusing the Grace of God, it's realizing that I'm merely a human. As long as I have asked for forgiveness of my childhood crimes and never do it again, I'm still clean in His eyes because Jesus covers it all. I really can't imagine what not knowing that grace would be like.

Since When?

2009-12-29T18:39:00.000-08:00

When did I start taking life so seriously? I have never really been one to be all "Ok. Let's get this thing done." Usually I'm the one taking my time waiting until the eleventh hour (like how i am currently putting off making a research website about the Titanic that is due on January 6... I probably won't even get to it until Monday). Last week when I was supposed to be cleaning my room, I found some of my journals from the beginning and middle of this year. Though many of the entries were actually God glorifying (unlike many of my journals from younger years) God brought to my attention a few places where I went wrong. There are two people, specifically that I remember seeing come up in my journal repetitively, and written there were my tremendously harsh judgments about them. I was disgusted with my writing and how introverted my thinking was. Though I loved life, I seemed to be filled with nasty thoughts about these people and it made me sick to my stomach. Literally, I thought I was going to throw up about an hour after I finished reading. As I was condemning myself, God quickly intervened by showing me quite a few verses in Jeremiah that spoke of the horrible actions of the Israelites, but how God loved them even though they messed up big time. I messed up BIG TIME. But God still loves me, so I shouldn't hate myself.

Recently, I have been going through a rough patch that has to do with growing up and becoming an adult in exactly one month from today. I have been fighting seeds of rebellion that I can feel beginning to germinate in my heart that I know aren't Godly.

God has been so faithful to meet me over the past few weeks in every aspect of my life. Since my first visit to Ian, our family chiropractor, when he tested my colors and brought things up about my past that I didn't even know I felt, I have been finding communion with God increasingly difficult. What Ian told me I felt inside was true even though I didn't realize it at first; I had never dealt with those feelings of hate toward God for giving me Tourette's Syndrome. Over the past few months, it has been festering inside of me; I have been mulling over it and thinking about it a lot. It pushed me to a point of distrust toward Him for the past few months. I honestly never thought I hated God, but looking back on my mere eighteen years of life, I can definitely see it now. Hines sight is always 20/20, right?

I hated it that Ian was right. I didn't want him to be right, but the truth is... he was spot on. I resented the fact that God chose to make me different from everyone else, because I all I ever wanted was to fit in with my peers. After all of the years of begrudgingly asking the question, "God, why me?" I believe he has given me the answer when I least expected it. He gave me Tourette's so that I would be different from my peers. It amazes me how God has helped me to embrace my being different in all aspects of my life. He gave me Tourette's to help shape my personality and to help form who I am today. I get comments from people all the time about how I am not like other kids my age... and while I used to hate it, I have learned to love it because that is how I have been able to glorify God.

I can just feel it... every thing that has happened is adding up to something big, and I can't wait to discover what it is! Satan has weighted me down with sizable trials over the last few months, but my God has proven to be bigger! And so, I am beginning to fall in love with Him all over again.

CHRISTmas.

2009-12-17T15:11:00.000-08:00

Is is just me, or does anyone else weep when then hear the song "Christmas Shoes"? I dread hearing it played on the radio every year because it is just so sad! However, there is an incredible message behind it that I think we all can learn from :) That little boy was SO selfless. All he wanted for Christmas was to bless his mom with shoes so she would look beautiful when she went to meet Jesus. I have been thinking about it for the past few days and just can't seem to wrap my mind around it. Here I am, with a Christmas list that is the length of my body, hoping that I get at least a few things from it. The truth is, I don't need a back light for photography or Talladega Knights on DVD. I have already been blessed with every thing I need... salvation, a family who loves me, and a God who loves me even more!

The true meaning of Christmas can get lost in the anxiety of gift giving. Often we tend to be consumed with considerations of purchase prices and the shock-and-awe value of something, but really, if someone has put time into thinking about us, we should be grateful that they cared enough to think of us. So even if someone gives you something you won't use for a while, or may even NEVER use, just remember that it's the thought that counts. After all, Jesus got MYRRH for his birthday!

The real meaning of Christmas is not to be in a giving mood (though that is part of the spirit of the holiday season) it is about the spectacular birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ! So just keep that in mind as you open presents like potpourri and contact solution on Christmas Day :)

Some Things

2009-12-15T06:38:00.000-08:00

Par request of a friend, this post features the paper I had to write for my Graduation Project at Agora...

For my graduation project, I chose to job shadow some ladies at Studio M Photographic. I chose this location because I am very interested in photography and want to start my own photography and design business after college. Since Studio M is where I currently work, it was pretty easy to get an internship with them.

Studio M is a high-end portrait studio that offers both imaging and design. For the first part of the job shadowing, I was able to do a few on-location shoots with my boss. She showed me some helpful things to do when one is photographing people outside. Tips like holding your hand up to assess the lighting and shadows, I have found to be very helpful in my own photography. Also, she showed me how to hold flash lighting in order to get an optimized natural-looking portrait.

The second part of the intership involved various types of studio work. I watched a professional image editor correct the exposure and fix the skin on multiple portraits. The studio manager showed me how to book appointments using the software program, PhotoOne. Other things I learned while working in the studio were how to make eclectic collages, photo greeting cards, and how to use Photoshop.

While working at Studio M, I was required to dress and act in a sophisticated professional way. I was able to prove my maturity and gained tasks such as coming up with and designing Studio M’s entire 2011 Senior Portrait campaign; which was successfully put into action in this past November. I also was incharge of managing Studio M’s Facebook account/page by adding current and prospective clients to our “friends” list. The intership also required me to deal with very difficult customers and come up with creative solutions to help them with their situation.

Over all, I believe that my time at Studio M was highly beneficial in giving me professional experience in the occupation that I adore. This internship allowed me to see both the positives and negatives of the business; you get to use your natural creativity to earn money, but sometimes one can become greedy when their success is great. Thought the idea initally was just to gain some experience in the field I enjoy, I became aware of a much deeper meaning behind my time at Studio M Photographic. I often found myself in disagreement with my boss’s way of doing business, but that has provoked me to reflect on how I would run my business differently. My experience with interning at Studio M has been very eye opening to me. It has helped me to get to know myself and my professional preferences better.

It might be a little selfish, but I have come to realize that I would rather be the commander of my own dreams rather than being the slave in someone else’s. It gives me the drive to want to work hard in school and go to college so I can live the ultimate American dream for myself and not be forced to live it vicariously through another person. This job intership has helped me to gain a clearer perspective of my goals for the future, and with some determination, money, and the Lord’s help, I know I can achieve great things!

So there you have it... all of my days at Studio M summed up in one paper. Friday is my last day, and I don't think I could be any more excited :)

Christmas Deco.

2009-12-03T12:50:00.000-08:00

Breathe In. Breathe Out. Keep Moving.

2009-11-29T19:18:00.001-08:00

Wow. So I haven't posted nearly a month. I have many reasonable explanations for my blogging absence. It seems like I start every new post like this now, but it's just so hard to find time to blog when I have to write the draft to my 2,500 word paper on Elizabeth Barrett Browning in two days (because I procrastinated) and finish my college application, and write the essay for it, and do my national history day project, and have a job (which my last day will be Dec. 18th), and babysit, and have my own business, and run FISH Teens. SO there. Thats my explanation in a big, long, run-on sentence. But that is how my brain has been functioning as of late. In a big, long, run-on sentence.

I am so relieved that I am quitting my job. I feel like it was an amazing experience for me to have had while it lasted, and I learned SO much about running my own business while I was there (like what TO do and what NOT to do.) I am very grateful that I had the opportunity to work for Maria and the awesome Studio M staff while I could, but I feel like God is telling me that it's time to move on. Everything has a season, and the Studio M season is almost over. Though I have yet to decide if this will be the anticipated end of winter, or the regretful close of summer.

I think it might be more like the end of Spring. The flowers bloomed, but I have something better to look forward to. Being free- like on the last day of school, how you hear the final bell and all at once the big doors open and you hear the joyful shrieks of freedom. Not being bound to something, and though I enjoyed the job at first, the past few months have been dragging along and I will regret going to work. Perhaps because I have become desensitized to what goes on there or perhaps because I am just so spread thin.

The other thing that has been bugging me is that recently in my over all picture of life, God has become small. Like not even visible. I have been trying so hard to manage, deal, and push through things so I don't get run ragged, and thought that's what I have been making such an effort to prevent, its exactly what has happened. It is only November and I'm on burnout. But I really believe that quitting my job is going to bring me closer to Him. He always shows me how much he loves me by never ceasing to provide for me when I need it the most. I just haven't let go of the reins and let God drive. This time, I am going to give them to Him permanently, because every time I drive, I get myself lost and end up in a huge mess. So here's to handing over the reigns to the Big Guy :)

I want to do something fun and interactive on my blog to keep my readers from falling fast asleep before they reach the end. So if you have made it this far, thanks! Post your best and/or worst job experience in a comment for everyone to read. I think it will be fun to see what happens :)

Thanks for reading my post! Hope you all have a tremendously blessed week!

{Photoshoot}

2009-11-09T05:21:00.000-08:00

If you want to see more from this portrait session click here.
If you follow me on Flickr, there are even more here. (If you don't follow me, the images won't show up on the Flickr link as they have been set to private.)

long time no see

2009-11-04T11:59:00.001-08:00

Well due to the various random things that have been consuming my life as of late, I have been unable to chronical my most recent weeks via blog post. I'm so bad about making the time for it. :(

Last week was my first college interview... The Art Institute of Pittsburgh. It was so cool to be able to see all of the different works of art done by the students there. I also learned that much of the art that we see on a daily basis was done by AI alumni. Things like the video game Halo, the advertising for the Yaris automobile, Abercrombie and Fitch t-shirts, and even the most recent Super Bowl memorabilia. All quite interesting, I thought. The campus was ok, but I just didn't get the "feeling". I don't exactly know what the "feeling" feels like, but I've heard that you'll just know which college is right for you. The Art Institute has been officially marked off my list.

Though I was really upset that I didn't like the AI last week, I think it was really helpful in that I know I don't want to spend $86,000 on an education in Graphic Arts or Photography. If I am going to get a higher education, I want it to be in something that will allow me to earn more money after I graduate. So, I am exploring my options in Psychology/Criminal Justice/Forensic Psychology. On Monday I set up five college interviews for the next two weeks. Hopefully they will go well. We are starting with West Virginia Wesleyan on Wednesday and ending with Cal U the following Wednesday. So we shall see what happens. I'll try to keep you posted. :)

Tuesday night, I went around to put my app in at various locations such as Kirklands and Kohls. I'm hoping to get a new job within the next few weeks so I can quit my Studio M job. It's just not going very well and I feel like God is telling me that it's time to move on. So if you can pray that I hear clearly from God, I'd really appreciate it!

I'm finding that this point in my life is really rough, and I have gained a new respect for the people who have made it past this season of life fully relying on God's help. It's so much easier said than done. You kind of feel like a big bully turned the whole world upside down and is shaking it for your milk money. I'm praying that God will show me the positives in this situation rather than the obvious cons. That He shows me His love and grace and allow me the ability to extend it to the other people in my life.

Have a wonderful rest of Wednesday :)

{j. and j.} photoshoot

2009-10-16T19:12:00.000-07:00

This past week, I had the awesome privilege of being able to take pictures for some good friend of ours. Here are a few of the results... (for privacy purposes, please do not mention their names)

I'll take 3 please!

2009-10-09T15:40:00.000-07:00

So today as I was sitting in the waiting room of National Tire and Battery getting my car's oil changed I was watching the "Fox Business" channel. Minute after minute went by, but it seemed like hours. The mundane news anchors talked about how dumb it is to invest in gold bars, and how the flies in Georgia are beginning to migrate North for the winter. (the thing about flies isnt real, but it shows you how much attention I was paying to the TV). I was just about to bust out my iPod when I heard something that piqued my attention. A famous Japanese fashion designer invented an H1N1 suit. It looks just like a business suit, but the fabric on the outside has high-powered infection repellant so the H1N1 germ is killed instantly upon contact. If you want more details so you can laugh (or maybe you might be considering purchasing one for yourself) you can click here.

The other thing I HAD to laugh at is the fact that Barrack Hussien Obama is the winner of this year's Nobel Peace Prize. mmmmhmmm. You read that right. He was awarded the prestegious honor not because of what he has done for this country, rather... the HOPE for what he MIGHT do. It was also brought to attention that the voting on the winner of this year's prize was concluded just ONE MONTH into his presidency. Even Obama himself was shocked that he won the prize (or at least he appeared to be when on TV). I just don't understand why the prize didn't go to someone who made an advancement in research for HIV or cancer. I really don't know who should have been chosen to receive the award, but I really don't think it should have been him. What is this world coming to?

Ridiculous I tell you. Ridiculous.

Share the Wealth

2009-10-06T18:31:00.000-07:00

I was just doing my nightly web-check before I head off to bed, and found this on the Yahoo! home page...

"The ASPIRE Act would give each child born in the United States a $500 savings account. Recipients could then use that money once they were older to pay for education, a first home, or retirement. Low-income children would receive additional funding, and all participants could add to their accounts over time." (The full article can be read here.)

The "$500" part is what initally caught my eye, so I clicked the article and began reading. At first I was like "oh. thats pretty neat. helping babies get a jump start on their future." But then upon reading further, I began to question the concept. If the government just freely gives that money (OUR TAX DOLLARS that could be spent on our own education or future ventures) to any baby born in the United States, then not only could they take it away at any time, but they would practically own you. They are putting it all under the guise of "economy stimulation" by investing the money in a "diversified stock portfolio," but really? What on earth does that mean?

If the money was truly invested in a myriad of diverse businesses, then the babies would not end up with an even amount of money in the end because of the stock market's moody fluxuations. Who would get to decide where the money could be invested. Surely not the parents of the child. That would be too good to be true.

Another thing that caught my eye, and gave me the whole idea of blogging on this topic was the part that says, "Low-income children would receive additional funding..." WHAT DOES THAT SOUND LIKE? It is taking money from the working class via taxes, and sharing it with the less fortunate via handout. What a great idea! I mean come on; why did we not think of this one before now? Oh. wait. Maybe because it's SOCIALISM? Yet another tax that will be added to the 30% per year any tax-paying American is already dishing out. I have this picture in my head of a pie chart. Pretend you did some work for your boss and rather than getting paid with money, you get paid with a pie. Your boss says that you can eat the entire rest of the pie after you give a piece to your mother. Your boss tells you that you have to give your mom exactly 1/4 of it. No problem. You'll get to eat the other 3/4 yourself! Then, she says that you have to give 1/8 to your dad, and another 1/8 to your brother in addition to the 1/4 you are giving your mom before you get to eat any of it yourself.

SO now, whats left for you to enjoy? 1/2. Thats it. And really, would it even be so bad if you got to give some of your pie (money) to your family members to the betterment of their future? Nope. Probably not. But the problem lies in the fact that we don't get to choose where we get to invest a large portion of our money, and the more the government begins to take out of my paycheck the more Johnny Pot-Head down the street will be getting instead of ME. The one who actually did the work to earn the money in the first place.

Is there a solution? Sure there is. Don't give so many people hand-outs of MY money. Now if the government were to take a portion of the 30% of tax dollars that the parents of the child would already be paying to set aside in a bank account until the child was older, the whole senario would be completely different. But, unfortunately, I don't think thats how this one is going to work. There needs to be more public acredibility for government spending. After all, this is a country Constitutionally founded based on the idea of "for, by, and of" the people, right? Honesty and no loop-holes is what I would like to see.

I'd love to get some other opinions on this, so feel free to comment with your thoughts.

[once] a week.

2009-10-05T06:16:00.000-07:00

Oh my my my. Life has a funny way of taking the drivers seat even when you don't exactly want it to. It shoves you over and causes you to give up total control of everything. Thats pretty much where I am at this point. Just letting life go by and doing what I can when I can. I think it's a pretty bittersweet thing. As much as I enjoy having control, I am SO glad I'm not the one who ultimately decides my future. There is just so much hope and relaxation in knowing that.

With that being said, I am starting college applications this week and I am taking the SAT for the first time this Saturday. I am actually not very nervous, I just regret not taking it last year, so could be sending complete applications to colleges. That would certianly be nice. But I just have to deal with the fact that I didn't.

Hopefully I will be able to write again this week about something of greater importance, not just photography or my life. I really like doing the op-ed type of thing. It gets people thinking and adds interest :)

Hope you all have a not mundane monday. :-P

Updated

2009-09-29T14:18:00.000-07:00

Hello All, just letting you know that i have made some updates to my website regarding prices.
Also, just a reminder...

I am looking for babies, children, pets and teens to take photographs of for my site. I will do a session with whoever is willing to sign a model release form so I can put them on my website. All pictures will be posted without names or any other means of idenitfication and you will get a CD of all the edited images. If you or any of your friends are in the South Western, PA area and are interested, please let me know as soon as possible!

Gracias!

VOTE!

2009-09-21T15:48:00.001-07:00

Hey Guys,
I have entered a photo competition. If you can go to the link at the side of the page and vote for me I would really appreciate it! The grand prize is $750.

Days go by--I can feel them flying...

2009-09-21T09:43:00.000-07:00

Last Monday I remember thinking... wow. only monday. gee it was a long day. I can't believe that I have 4 more until the weekend. Then all of a sudden it was Friday Night and I found myself at home with no plans (so my mom and I watched 4 episodes of Project Runway, lol).

I can't help but think of the popular Keith Urban song and get it stuck in my head... Days go by/I can feel them flying like a hand out the window in the wind/time flys by/ This is all we've been given/ so we better start living right now/ days go by.

With school in full swing and working about 40 hours per week, I am starting to go on overload and I think I'm getting sick, but I know that I am SO incredibly blessed to be able to work and save money for car repairs and college.

Today I found this diet called "The 3 Hour Diet." I have heard of the concept before, but the actual diet program makes it so easy to follow. Basically, all you do is eat 3 small meals and 2 snacks every 3 hours during the day to keep your metabolism going at the same rate. The actual website said that you are supposed to lose 2 pounds every two weeks(ish), and at first I was a little skeptical. However, with a little more research, I found a blog where everyday American consumers posted comments raving about their success. (Some women said they were losing 2 pounds per week!) And all you have to do is eat small meals every three hours and drink a lot of water. They also said that exercise isn't necessary, but it helps speed up the weight loss process. At this point, it could all be hokey, but I think I am going to give it a try and see how it goes. What could it hurt? I'll keep you posted.

Also, I finished my photography website about a month ago, but I need some more photographs to put on it. Below is a list of what I need... if you (or anyone you know) are interested in a free portrait session (I would take pictures, edit some, and burn them to a CD for you. All I would need is your consent to use them for advertising - they would all be used anonymously.)

-Small Baby (preferably 0-6 months)
-Toddler
-Senior (older teen-not necessarily a senior)
-Family

We could either meet at a location, or I could come to your home for the session (within South Western, Pa of course!) Just let me know if you are interested by the second week of October please :)

where to start

2009-09-14T17:56:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry about the absence of my posting over the past week. I'm not kidding when I tell you that I had the busiest week of my life last week. I would get up at 7:30 leave by 8:30 and not be home until after dinner. Between working at Studio M, babysitting, softball, school and FISH Teens, I am booked solid.

My Senior Ad Campaign pitch went SUPER well last week. I was so nervous before I left, and then to see the two girls who went to school for marketing do their pitch and it not go over so hott, I was practically a mess when it was time to present my ideas. However, Maria actually liked my idea (thanks to a little inspiration from Sarah Rutman) "What Defines You". The idea of the campaign is to get girls and guys from all walks of life (jock, bookworm, artist, dancer, cheerleader, ect.) to get photographs that accentuate the power of individuality. The unity in everyone being different. I made a little brochure thing that everyone hovered around when it was time to show it off. I was very happy with how it all turned out, and I know Maria was too. She also gave me the duty of writing and typing the client letter for the sale of gallery images this evening. I have yet to hear her thoughts on that... but hopefully all will be well.

Yesterday was my first softball game of the season. The team that I play on is the first-ever interscholastic slowpitch team. So far, it has been a really cool experience. We played North Allegheny (last year's league champion) yesterday and lost the first game by A LOT. But the second game was much better when we beat them in the international tie breaker at the end of the game. I hit the game winning RBI, so it was a pretty good time :)

Hope you all have a tremendous tuesday!

and yet another amazing day :)

2009-09-05T19:09:00.000-07:00

Today was such an amazing day. The weather was beautiful, and I am so glad that I got to be outside with friends for most of it. Today some of my friends and I went to South Side and West Mifflin to spend some time with Shannon before she leaves us (or Ohio) on Monday. Wes even joined us. It was really cool to have things like old times. I am such a sucker for that kind of stuff-especially because Shannon is leaving and we all used to hang out and do stuff together all the time. The whole thing was a great end to an awesome God-filled summer. We got some really cool pictures that are currently uploading on my flickr site. Along with a few other pictures I have been meaning to post. I would post them here for easy access, but there are 26 images, so you can see them on my flickr :)

these are the days

2009-09-04T05:39:00.000-07:00

So I took on more than I can handle... YET again. Between working for Studio M and babysitting twice on Thursdays, I have a full schedule. But add on school, FISH Teens, my photography business, and like 4 new projects that my boss gave me. (Updating our yellow pages online listing, coming up with a good senior campaign, getting prices for an ad on Facebook, and figuring out how to market better to the youth in our area.)

I find myself not having time to 'shlep' around anymore, because every waking moment is filled with me moving at lightning speed to get every thing done. I like being busy, I really do, but when I am working on things until 12 in the morning, I have to wonder about the quality of my work. Am I doing it to the best of my ability? At this point, I can't really cut anything off of my plate so I have to keep pounding through it... with God's help, of course. Today, I am hoping that I don't have too much to package at work so I can get right on the phone and start working on some of my new projects. This weekend, I am hoping to get all of the FISH Teens stuff caught up and send our website content over to the builder.

And yet, amidst all of this, God is still so awesome. He always helps me relax at the end of the day by giving a majestic display of His glory...

My Beautiful God

2009-08-31T07:34:00.000-07:00

How unfathomably amazing is our God? I love it when he allows me to see glipses of his power! My most favorite thing to do in the summer is to drive through the country at sunset. The hilly route I usually travel is about 6 or 7 miles from beginning to end, and is absolutely stunning at about 8:00 pm. I love to see the rich pinks and purples and the huge, orange sinking sun over the distant mountian. One of these days, I hope to take my camera along and photograph it so I can remember it forever. That's pretty much why I photograph nature. To capture the glory of God through creation so I can share it with people. My pictures may be pretty ordinary to the regular eye, but to me there is just something so fascinating and beautiful about God's creation. Alot of times people don't realize the all-encompasing beauty of nature.

It's kind of like that scene in "The Outsiders" when Johnny and Ponyboy run away and wake up early enough to see the sunrise. They were amazed by the fact that they had never before noticed it. Johnny quotes a poem by Roberty Frost and then goes on to wondering if Dallas had ever seen a sunrise before.

Indescribable

From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea

Creation's revealing Your majesty

From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring

Every creature unique in the song that it sings

All exclaiming

Indescribable, uncontainable,

You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.

You are amazing GodAll powerful, untameable,

Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim

You are amazing God

Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go

Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow

Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light

Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night

None can fathomIndescribable, uncontainable,

You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name

You are amazing God

All powerful, untameable,

Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim

You are amazing God

Indescribable, uncontainable,You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.

You are amazing GodAll powerful, untameable,

Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim

You are amazing God

Indescribable, uncontainable,You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.

You are amazing God

Incomparable, unchangeable

You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same

You are amazing God

Can you believe that He placed the stars in the sky and He knows them by name? There are so many stars in the sky! There are so many people on the earth! And yet He knows every one of us by name :)

So today, notice the small things like the intricacies of a dandelion, the uniformity of grass, or the color of the sky. It's God's gift to us, and He wants us to notice and enjoy it :)

3. 2. 1. Blast Off!

2009-08-26T13:53:00.000-07:00

I am proud to announce that it is launch time for my new website! You all can check it out at ...

http://danielleskilesphotography.webs.com

Though it is launched, it is still under construction. So bare with me, as things change from time to time :)

A few other updates:
My first official photography job went very well last Saturday! I am very greatful that Mrs. Roddy though of me to come take pictures for them :) For privacy sake, I can't post any of the photos, but they turned out awesome!

The FISH Teens project that I have been working on all summer was made public on Monday night at the first meeting! I am so encouraged that SO many people turned out and signed up to participate in it! So far, we have 26 official teenage members!

School starts in 7 days. I'm not exactly sure if I'm excited, nervous, upset, or all of the above. My last first day is next Tuesday. I sat down this afternoon to start reading the literature book for AP English.... SHEESH! The book is as thick as the dictionary, with thin pages like the Bible. When I cracked the cover open and peered into the pages, I thought "Oh gee, what did I get myself into?" The font size shrunk immensely from last year. :( I really didn't know that it was physically possible, but to my dismay, it surely is. hahaha.

Hope everyone has a wonderfully amazing Wednesday!

editing!

2009-08-21T18:59:00.000-07:00

Today I got my first taste of professional editing! For the ladies at the studio, what I did today was seriously no big deal, but to me... oh! It was so fun! All I did was resize and add a watermark so we could post pictures on Facebook, but I learned valuble things about Photoshop CS3. And hopefully, by all of these little tutorials for random office jobs, I will be able to learn how to use the program! So, it was just a little cookie in the jar, but hey! I still got to eat it :)

I am currently beginning to build a website for my photography. Not exactly sure how that is going to fair, but hopefully it will be in full swing by the time school starts [9 days of freedom left!] If you have any favorite pictures that I have taken, please send it to me [I know it's odd that I am asking you to send me a picture that I have taken, but its so that I can know which precise one you are talking about.] If you want to, that is.

la tee da

2009-08-20T18:57:00.000-07:00

It has been one of those weeks. One that is quite unusual for me in late August. Normally, we are slowing life wayyy down and gearing up for school to begin. This summer has been unlike any other. It was so slow at the beginning and is zooming by at the end. Is this a warning of how life goes once you get into the adult world? If it is, I am surely out. Yet, there are so many good things that will come with being an adult. Actually, scratch that. Job, taxes, bills. Blehhhh. NO thank you!

This evening has been rather relaxing. The smell of the rain is so delightful. It has to be one of my favorites. I got a pretty decent lightning shot tonight. It was my first, so it wasn't all that great, but decent. I also bought a new lens for my camera!!! I found it online at Abe's of Maine, and printed the sale price out, took it to Best Buy, and the price matched it! So I got it for the cheapest price available, and didn't even have to wait for shipping. I love my new lens. The Nikon 55-200mm AF zoom nikkor. Woot woot! (I'm not usually a big fan of the whole 'woot woot' thing, but this occasion deserves all of the little dorky expressions I can think of. :-P) I didn;t realize that there would be a difference in the quality of my images, but there certianlt is. I uploaded a few up on my facebook and flickr site for you all to see.

Flickr

Facebook

Hopefully the links will work... I never really know about all of that linking stuff.

Happy Almost Friday.

There's nothing like...

2009-08-17T12:43:00.000-07:00

... a great-fitting pair of blue jeans. I usually dread the day in the late summer when it's time for back-to-school shopping. In other words [since I'm home schooled] Fall shopping. A reason to buy some new clothes. I dread it not only because we always end up going on the day when everyone else does, but because it is so stinking hard to find clothes that fit right and look decent. But alas! Yesterday, I went by myself and actually found what I was looking for! A great fitting pair of blue jeans.

Tomorrow we're going white-water rafting in celebration of Dilly's 16 years of life. Hopefully I will have some pictures to share with you all [not of rafting, but of of the other fun times].

[no title]

2009-08-13T12:51:00.001-07:00

After a few days of dissappointedly messing around with my 30-Day free trial of Lightroom 2, I finally created something worth posting. And as the nature of most free trials are, it made me want to buy the program :0)

The lyrics to this song have been dancing around in my head for the past few months since I learned it at camp...

Verse 1

I am frail, broken easily

without fail, my strength keeps failing me

all alone, I'm powerless

to lift myself from the pit that I am in

Chorus 1

I need You Jesus

Verse 2

from Your throne in heaven's light

descended down into my broken life

to right the wrong, to make a way

to bear the load that I deserved to bear alone

Chorus 2

I need You Jesus

I need clean hands

I can't You can

I need You Jesus

Verse 3

on the cross on our behalf

the Son of God bore the Father's wrath

and by His blood, the scars and pain

the perfect Son, took the fall and took our place

Verse 4

in His grace and unfailing love

the risen King gave His hand to us

to lift us up, from the pit

and set our feet upon a rock that ever stands

Ending

on my own i've tried and tried

to save myself to fill my life

but the more I do the more I find

that I need You, I need You, I need You

Just something to be thinking about.

Happy Thursday!

OMG!

2009-08-11T12:49:00.000-07:00

I have the best job ever! My first week went very, very well. I love my co-workers and my boss, Maria. They are all so sweet, kind, and amazing to work for.

Today was my most favorite day yet. One of my new "little tasks" is to maintain Studio M's Facebook page. I honestly can't believe that I'm getting paid to do one of my favorite things! In addition to that, I was very excited to hear that a perk of being an employee is a free photo shoot once a year. So, now all I have to do is make an appointment, and viola! My senior pics are done!

I am still in amazement of God that He would bless me with this job. The more I think about it, the more I realize that He is totally orchestrating my life everyday. Both at work and in my personal life... I love it that He knows exactly what I need and when I need it. Whether it is as simple as an enlinghtening conversation with a wise person, or giving me a job that has great learning opportunities and advancement options. Right now, my heart is just overflowing with praise and adoration for my amazingly awesome Heavenly Father.

[.sm.]

2009-08-01T06:55:00.000-07:00

It has been so very long since I have posted... I appologize. Honestly, it's because I have had nothing worth writing until now. I finally got a job! I am an official employee of Studio M Photographic in Canonsburg. The long wait is over, and I am now a working gal! Woo hoo!

The really cool thing about SM is that Maria, the owner, has only been doing photography for 5 years and is all self taught. Yet, when you walk into her huge studio (a refurbed bowling alley) you would never be able to tell. I got to meet the staff yesterday, and it's all girls. So hopefully nothing like what happened at Subway will happen here. :-P

As for what I will be doing there... I get to frame and package orders, call clients, and meet them when they come in to pick up their order. I also will go to South Hills Village every week to restock the SM kiosk near Sears. After I get my training my pay will increase, and I will get to do a variety of other jobs around the studio, including learning from Maria.

I am so greatful to God for this job. Not only did he provide me with a job, but he far exceeded my expectations... just as he always does. If you think about it, will you pray for me as I begin this new adventure on Monday?

oh. wow.

2009-07-21T17:01:00.000-07:00

Much has been occupying my mind lately... Have you ever thought so much about something that you think yourself in circles and end up right back where you started? Well, that's been me over the past few weeks. I have found that I have nearly made a circuit of things I think about in order, on a daily basis. It's actually quite strange.

The weekend was a blast. I really enjoyed spending time at Miss Domenica's on Friday, and with Gram, Mr. Clay, the littles, and Jess, on Saturday. We went to see the movie "Obsessed." Some people may like that type of movie, but it's not what I particularly care for. Though Beyonce and Ali Larter are an awsome pair for fighting. lol.

Anyway... Uncle Will shall be here tomorrow. It should be fun. hopefully Miss Sarah Calvetti and I can get together by ourselves for the first time since the fall toward the end of this week. Our families have been so busy on opposite days, so nothing has worked out so far. SOON though!!

I can't wait to start my senior year, but I know that just as soon as it starts it'll be over. I've been thinking about my "last first day" and though I'm excited, it's definitely a bittersweet thing...

Now to study for that darn SAT!

Summer Weekends...

2009-07-17T07:51:00.000-07:00

I'm getting my car back on Wednesday!!! My uncle will be here with the title wednesday, and then I can go to the DMV to get it registered. At first, having to park my car was a huge challenge for me, but looking back on it, it was totally God. I don't have a job, so there is no way I could have put gas in it anyway. But, I worked last weekend, so I should be getting paid soon. Then I can put gas in my car!

This weekend is going to be ahhhmazing! Enjoy it!

Words

2009-07-16T12:13:00.000-07:00

Photo taken from Zakopane.com

"Sometimes that mountian you've been climbing is just a grain of sand..." -Carrie Underwood.

For those of you who are my friend on Facebook, you know this was my status earlier in the day. I hadn't ever realized before that there is such a large truth in these words. It's especially hard to see when you are in the midst of climbing that mountian, but when you reach the top and look back down... you can realize how far you have come. God can give you the strength to keep climbing the mountian that you are on now, you just have to press into Him for it.

Happy Thursday :)

Gee.

2009-07-15T11:38:00.000-07:00

I just had a thought. This time next summer, I will have chosen a college, secured financial aide, and found a room mate. The only decisions left will be what color I want my dorm room bed spread. It's a bittersweet thought. How I would LOVE to have all of the decisions decided and set in place for next fall, but I've heard that this is all part of enjoying the ride. I should be taking each day of this summer to relax and enjoy myself, because God knows next summer won't be as breezy.

A small update on my college status.
-I'm down to Art Education or Art Therapy as a major. (leaning toward Art Ed.)
-I finally scheduled my SAT test date. (October 10th, 2009)
-I found 5 colleges in Pennsylvania that offer Art Ed as an official major...
*Messiah College (Harrisburg)
*Seton Hill University (Greensburg)
*The University of Edinboro (North... close to Erie)
*Indiana University of Pennsylvania (Indiana, Pa. duh. haha)
*Carlow University (City of Pittsburgh)<-- I really don't think I will end up at this one, but I think I'm going to visit anyway just to make sure.

Now on to scheduling visits to these lovely colleges. They all brag to be the best and most friendly, or to have the most beautiful campus, but surely it can't be true of all of them... if you think about it, pray for me as I begin weeding them out. :)

I'll keep ya'll posted!

Wedding Photos...

2009-07-14T05:55:00.000-07:00

I put some pictures from the wedding up on my Facebook album. Everyone can see the album because I left it on public. Here is the link...

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/album.php?aid=32240&id=1221222007&ref=mf

If you want to comment on any of the pics and don't have a Facebook account, you can post it here.

I hope everyone has a splendid Tuesday :)

A Few of My Favorite Things...

2009-07-12T18:27:00.000-07:00

A Few of Our Favorite Things

A Pictoral Tribute To Summer

Sarah Calvetti's Favorite thing about Summer...

Youth Camp!

Photo taken by Brooklyn Tumino.

Photo taken by John Behrens.

Rebekah Krayzel's favorite thing about summer...

Coming home for the first time in a year, and hanging with friends.

My favorite thing about summer...

The warm weather and ice cream!

Photo taken by me.

Photo taken by me.

If you want to participate, you can still send me something, and I will post it. :)

Pictures from the wedding are coming! I will probably post some of them tomorrow.

idea

2009-07-08T07:07:00.001-07:00

Remember how a while ago, I asked everyone to make an ode to food? Well, now, I would like to do something similar with pictures. Instead of "oding" to your favorite food, I want to compile pictures of your most favorite thing about summer. So, submit a picture (you don't have to take it, but be sure to qoute where you got it from) and a couple sentences about why ___ is your favorite part about summer. I want to have them all by July 12th. I will wait until then to post all of the pictures and comments.

Even if this is your first time reading my blog or if you aren't into taking pictures, send me something!

Looking forward to hearing from you all.

life. [lot's of pictures]

2009-07-06T08:33:00.000-07:00

It's summer, which means that life has taken a whole new approach, FAST. It's whirring by whether or not I want it to. My days are crammed full with art, photography, family, and friends. I'm learning [or trying to learn, anyway] the masterful art of balancing my schedule. It's rough, but I must be honest... I really do enjoy it.

Last Saturday was PT Community Day. I went and helped the Webbers with their Zambia table.

I dyed my hair three times last week to get it the shade I wanted it to be. I'm still not quite to the shade I'd like to be, but it's ok for now. [this picture was taken yesterday, so it's the only one I have of my current color. The ones of Rebekah and I were taken before the last dye. Not that anyone cares. lol]

Last week we had some family friends came to visit us while they were on vacation. It was such a blast wearing neon socks with navy blue flip-flops, going shopping, bowling, to the park, and having ice cream at McDonald's. Purely random fun. I haven't lived like that in a really long time, and it was just like the good old days.

Im so bad at taking this type of shot.
Our neon sock extravaganza. I'm on the left. Bekah is on the right.

Yep. We're mature.

His superhero pose. [lol, you should see the gargoyle one]

I thought we were taking a goofy one. I ruined the whole shot. [or added to it?]

My favorite.

We also had a party for the Fourth of July. Quite small and quaint; mom and dad's care group plus a few. However, it's funny how the people we invited, all knew each other without our knowing it. It was totally God, which is really fascinating to me. He even has a hand on the smallest details of life. :)

hackey sackin'
The only good shot they'd let me have.

Most of the gang.
I couldn't resist putting one up here for you all to see. If you want to see more, they will be on my facebook shortly.

I've probably been overthinking this- that's how I usually operate...overthinking- but I want to be totally prepared. I'm so excited that the day is almost here. My good friend, Elisabeth, asked me to help her out shooting a wedding this Saturday. I have never done a wedding before, so I'm really nervous. But, I am sure she will coach me through it and it will be a great learning experience. After all, I am just the back up photographer; however, I want to do my absolute best for her. So, I have been researching wedding photography for the past three days. Looking at lists of "88 Must Have Wedding Photos" and "101 Pictures You Want For Your Wedding."

It's been time consuming, but really fun. You see all of those happy endings and have no choice other than to smile. Sometimes laugh out loud, even, at some of the crazy things that photographers have caught and snapped pictures of. My favorite... when a bride and groom started heading down the isle without kissing! The photographer popped over and wispered "KISS!"

Well, anyway. I am going to be meeting with Elisabeth tomorrow to go over things and ask questions. MANY questions. Learn how to use a bounce flash, honker lens, and hopefully calm the nerves that are starting to eat me up. It will all be good by Saturday, though. So to put it like Bob Marley... Don't worry. be happy.

[ya don't know what ya got till it's gone]

2009-06-28T18:02:00.000-07:00

4. In some cases, it's a pretty small number... in other cases, it can be a huge number. Like how in the past week not one, but four American Icons have died. Ed McMahn, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, and Billy Mays. Everyone knows them... Ed's money, Farrah's hair, Michael's style, and Billy's booming voice that sells anything. Already in the past year Heath Ledger and Bernie Mac have died. What is happening? Is it in the water? American favorites. Gone. Just like that. It shows that life, no matter how rich and famous you are, comes at you fast. It gets you when you least expect it, and will stop for NO ONE.

If that is the case, then how important is it to have your life in order at all times? Not only on earth- will wise, but with God- eternity wise. Because we, like the famous American Icons, are NOT expempt from death, we must be prepared for the unexpected at all times. Couple of questions... Where are you going when you die? How can you be sure?

Ephesians 2
Made Alive in Christ

1And you were dead in your trespasses and sins,
2in which you formerly walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, of the spirit that is now working in the sons of disobedience.
3Among them we too all formerly lived in the lusts of our flesh, indulging the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, even as the rest.
4But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us,
5even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ by grace you have been saved)...

Something that we did during devotions at Youth Camp is re-write this verse so that it directly applies to us. Like switch out the "you" for "I". It makes the passage so much more personal and convicting. Just think... how different would our lives be if it didn't have the "But GOD" in verse 4? That's my favorite verse in the whole Bible. I'm making it one of my life verses.

rethinking things

2009-06-18T08:43:00.000-07:00

Thank you all for taking time to read my blog. Over the past 24 hours, I have been chatting with a "little birdie" and she has brought something to my attention that I think is important for you, as my blog readers, to hear.

- What am I blogging for? Is it to receive the praises of my friends and family, or to make an account of my thoughts, life, and feelings so I can better display God's work in me?

Taking some time to think about that this morning, I believe I started off for the right reasons, then fell to the temptation of taking the praise all for me... not keeping God at the forefront where He belongs. After all, the title of my blog is "The Meditations of My Heart" and the verse that it comes from says "May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing to you, O God." My words haven't been pleasing to God; only to me. And for that I am sorry.

I don't know about you guys, but it seems like when I expect and greatly anticipate God meeting me in some way, there are ALWAYS always road-blocks. Satan throws up the most difficult and trying things to test me. It's usually the things of the world that are most near and dear to me. The things that bring me great pleasure. What I work for and earn. But in the midst of trials, God is so good to wrap me in his arms of comfort and point me back, yet again, to His never-lacking grace. He helps me to see it as not only road-blocks, but as tools to help me weed out the sin in my heart.

Even a simple comment from a friend asking to change the song on the radio has helped me in ways that she might not know. But that one comment pricked my heart in a very tender spot. I LOVE listening to music. It's one of my most favorite things to do. However, in the days since I have had my own car, my listening habits changed dramatically for the worse. The one comment, the one friend not being afraid to stand up for what she believes in, has helped to put my life back into perspective. I'm not living for me or my pleasure, and when I have other people in my car listening to my music, what kind of signal am I sending? It's ok to be a Christian and listen to raunchy music, or it's NOT ok to do that. I don't want to be sending mixed messages to non-believers, or even believers for that matter, that display me saying one thing and doing another.

This is just one of the MANY examples of how my spiritual life is beginning to get back on track. I haven't been off for too long, but just long enough for God to reveal Himself to me and truly make me realize that every choice has an option, a right one and a wrong one. He wants me to choose the right one. But only with His help am I able to do that because it is so hard. In order for me to truly make the right decisions, I must fully sumbit myself to His authority and wholly rely on Him.

Thank you to those whom I have talked about and have helped me get my life back in order. You know who you are :)

update

2009-06-17T10:04:00.000-07:00

This one is going to be short.

I have my check from Subway... finally. So the horrible experience is over and I have closure.

Tonight is the YPCG prayer meeting for camp. I'm excited, because this night, every year, has always been very helpful for getting me into the right place spiritually for camp. Even if you aren't going tonight, if you think about it, shoot a prayer up to the Big Guy on our behalf. :)

This weekend, I have (possibly) my last softball game of the season. A dear friend's grad party. Father's Day. And Leaving for Camp Sunday afternoon.

If you are wondering why I don't post more often, it's because no one ever comments... I'm beginning to wonder if anyone even reads this anymore. lol.

:)

[..summer..]

2009-06-09T10:45:00.000-07:00

The smell of humidity, fresh cut grass, and the earth after it rains-- thats what I associate with summer. Maybe even more than being done with school and swimming. It's here. Summer has finally come, and I am on the cusp of reaching out and embracing it with arms wide open.

Friday is my official last day of school before I start my senior year. I just can't wait to be done :) The date of June 13th in my phone has, over the past month, has filled up very quickly. I have inferred that Saturday, June 13th, is the most popular day for graduation parties. I have not one, but FOUR graduation parties to go to this Saturday. It should be fun though, and it may be the last time I see a few of them for a while.

I'm looking forward to when the days all run together and you don't have to get up until 10 am every morning. When you can call your friends and no matter what day it is, they can do something.

I'm convinced that summer is God's gift to humans. It's the rejuvinating season after a long winter. And it's here!

Disney Pictures

2009-06-05T11:49:00.000-07:00

Hey guys, here is a slideshow of my family's trip to Disney World in January. Please be patient while it loads!

Make a Smilebox slideshow

he is the best :)

2009-06-05T10:10:00.000-07:00

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Perspectives

2009-05-27T11:43:00.000-07:00

I know that only you all can truly appreiate the value of this memoir I had to write for my American Literature class. My teacher doesn't know me personally, but you all do. And you know that my experience with Subway was not very pleasant. However, I wanted to post the ONE positive and inspiring experience that I had while working. So if you have the time, please read it. :)

It was my second night working at Subway; it had been a pretty typical day from what I had been told- making subs for customers, cleaning, and learning how to work an ice cream machine. Many customers had been in and out and I was very ready to go home. My feet were screaming, “STOP stepping on us! We hurt!” The smell of the onions I had just finished slicing still hung in the air and stung my eyes while overpowering the perfume I had put on before work. I was in pain, I smelled like nasty onions, and I was miserable. Just as I was about to close up the sandwich board for the night, an older Asian man walked in. He looked like an everyday average Asian American- modern clothes. They were kind of yuppyish; the typical “dad attire,” khaki shorts, a golf shirt, and leather sandals.

I pulled on my thin plastic gloves while pushing aside the selfish thoughts of pain, “Hi, welcome to Subway! What can I get started for you today?” He just stood there, seeming to be amazed at all of the different combinations available for a sub. His eyes went all buggy as he poured over the menu on the wall. Then he asked with broken English in a strong accent-telling of his native Asian roots, “Um. En-tan-an B-emt ples.” I could only make out every other syllable, so I asked him to repeat what he said, making sure to watch his lips so I could understand what he was trying to order. He looked closely at each word trying very hard to pronounce the words correctly. “I-tal-e-an B-eM-T ples.” Finally understanding that he wanted an Italian BMT, I began his sandwich. So many thoughts were going through my mind at that point, but these seemed to stand out above the others: this man took a long time to decide on just the right sub, he ordered it twice trying painfully hard to use proper English, he’s really enthusiastic about it; it must be the first time he’s ever ordered a sub, so it needs to be the best one he will ever have. With this thought in my head, I took extra care in placing every piece of meat on the bread and even added a little extra bacon.

When I was finished with the meat, we moved onto the cheese. His eyes went ‘googly’ again at the sight of all his options. Shredded, sliced, pepper jack, white American, yellow American, provolone, and mozzarella. He studied over his choices and waited until he was sure he could pronounce everything the right way before he ordered. “White American, little the yellow and white shred cheese.” I was impressed with his speech this time, and began to layer tons of cheese onto the sub. After I was done putting the cheese on it was time for the veggies. “What veggies would you like on it, Sir?” Yet again, he was astounded by all of the possibilities. “What I put on it? What allowed?” I had to hold back my laughter, so I cracked a huge smile, knowing what his expression would be when I told him he could put whatever he wanted on it. By now, we were having a lot of fun constructing his custom masterpiece. “ANYTHING? Wow. I will have the KU-cumers, toe mAs, le-weise, doze greenish peppers, the ol-I-ves…” Then he came to the dressings. He muttered something that I couldn’t understand, so I asked him to repeat it. He pointed at the bin with the dressings in it and said “May-wees.” I looked at him, and then back at the dressings trying to match “May-wees” with a label on a bottle. Nothing was ringing a bell, so I looked up at him again and said “May-wee? I’m not quite sure of what that is, Sir.” He got even closer to the glass, squatted down, and squinted a little. He then began saying every single letter phonetically. “M-ah-O-ise.” OH! Mayonnaise How could I have missed that? I felt like I betrayed my quickly made friend. “Oh, mayonnaise! Yeah, that one is kind of hard. You can also call it ‘mayo’ for short.” He looked at me kindly, knowing I understood his insecurity.

I wrapped his sub with the most care, making sure to add two napkins instead of the normal one. This is how I showed my secret favor to customers that I enjoyed. I added small extras of things like bacon and napkins. I knew he would be grateful for the extra later when he realized that in order to fit the sub in his mouth, he would have to squish it down and all of the juice drip down his arms. It’s just something you come to learn when you eat subs a lot.

After he left, I could feel the big smile on my face. I had just been part of this man’s first experience with a common American food-the Italian BMT sub. I was the one that got to make an impression on him for his first sub-I got to make the suggestions for what to put on it like I was an expert or something. I was so impressed at the man’s tenacity for the sub. He worked for it. He didn’t just waltz in and order it in an Asian language expecting me to understand what he was saying. He may never realize it, but he is more American than the people who are born and raised here. He is living the American dream and understands the reward for hard work. In this case, the prize for his diligence was a delightfully huge sandwich. Only in America can you put cucumbers and banana peppers on the same sandwich. If only the American born citizens could understand the rewards of hard work. This experience showed me a different side of life; life from the view of a new American. Even to this day, thinking of that night puts an enormous smile on my face and reminds me that diligence and hard work pays off in the end.

Pictures

2009-05-21T13:50:00.000-07:00

So. It really does take a slap in the face.

2009-05-17T11:54:00.001-07:00

I'm kind of hesitant to publish this post, but think it is a necessary follow up to the previous one.

In my last post, I mentioned how lately, I have been having to be practically slapped in the face when God tried to tell me something because my head is so thick. Well, I have yet another example of how this is true...

So, on Friday, I was going to post about how much I loved my new job at Subway. It was a relatively easy job that requires little to no brain space or training. Making sandwiches was fun and enjoyable. PLUS you got free food while you work from both Subway and Dairy Queen. I tried to envision myself staying there all summer and getting to know the people who seemed to enjoy each other's company but it never really happened. I didn't think too much about that, however, and just kept plunking along thinking that I would get used to it. I got ready yesterday, with a best friend's advice fresh on my heart "Just be careful to not let them influence you, Danie." (love you meggs!) I kept thinking about that last night as I was working and listening to the banter of my male co-workers. After that, multiple things (that I shall not blog about) happened that absolutely sent me over the edge of tolerance for ignorance and garbage. I came home early (thankfully the ONE nice guy that was working my shift let me go early after what happened) all flustered.

Its a funny thing how moms can read their kids and tell when something isn't right. So, after telling my mom, mulling over my options for 24 hours, and getting the finalizing O.K. from my dad, I called the manager and told him that I was done working there. I didn't even feel bad about it, which surprised me. Instead, when I got off the phone with my former boss, the nasty pit I have had in my stomach since last Tuesday went away. Thats how I know that it wasn't God's will for me to work there anymore. Whatever the purpose of the brief time I worked there has been fulfilled, and I feel SO good about it.

God does know what he is doing. :) And I'm glad.

Well, God seems to be orchestrating my summer...

2009-05-13T09:13:00.001-07:00

The past few days have consisted of a lot of things. Today for instance, I have two 30 point math quizzes, and a 150 point two-part math test to take. Yikes!

In addition to that, I applied for a job at five places just yesterday. But the job that has prevailed is the one at Subway. I feel like putting unfortunately before the beginning of the previous sentence because my hours are from 4-10:45 at night, but I know that God has a plan for this. Yes, even this. I am actually quite fortunate to have received the job, I suppose. I mean, there are adults out there who don't have jobs, and that makes it kind of hard for a seventeen-year-old to get a job. Even the way I got the job could be looked at one of two ways... either God made it really easy because He wants me to be there, or Subway is desperate for workers. (who knows? both may be true! lol) All I'm saying is that this job practically fell into my lap...

Last Wednesday, Dill and I went to Subway to get a sandwich before he left for lacrosse. The guy behind the counter (my new boss) asked dill if he wanted a job. Dill flatly said "No." And the guy asked him how old he was. "15." was Dill's response. "No way. You are NOT 15. You have to be older than that." Thats when I cut in and said "Hey, are you looking for employees? I'm looking for a job!" Sure enough I filled out an application and got my interview right on the spot. (even in my softball uniform). I called yesterday and found out that I have been put on the schedule for Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night. It will be a little rough at first, but it seems like they may be pretty flexible with when I can work. So we shall see.

Meanwhile, I am crossing my finger for another job to prevail, but hey. If not, then I will take it as a blunt sign from God that this is his will. Thats how I tend to opperate these days... needing a slap in the face to tell me what to do. To make me think, I guess.

So... there is a reason for me not going to the Governor's school this summer. Whether that reason is being able to see one of my best friends in July, holding down a summer job, going to Dill's LAX tournaments, shooting a wedding with Elisabeth, going to Youth Camp, or going to my friends' graduation parties...this is the summer that will be marked by letting God take the driver's seat and me not taking things into my own hands. I don't even know why I do that anymore... every time I do, my plans crumble apart in my hands. Things are so much more beautiful when God has complete control to do what he wants. It's like trying to tell a painter with a vision how to paint his picture... You just shouldn't.

Pray for me!

The Endless Days of Paper Writing

2009-05-08T10:11:00.000-07:00

Man, I am so ready for school to be over. It's hard to not be jealous of all of my Senior friend who will never have to do another year of high school after this week. I can't wait for the point in summer when all of my days run together and it doesn't matter if it's Saturday or Wednesday, because there is nothing to do but garden, hang out with friends, and eat ice cream.

All I have been doing for the past week is writing endless amounts of papers and taking math tests. Don't get me wrong, I love to write papers... especially the kind I have been writing lately, but when you have stacks and stacks of them all due on the same day, it can get a little overwhelming :) I feel like I have been treading just enough to be able to keep my head above the water. However I can see the end in sight. Two more weeks of this then I am free for the summer. I look forward to my last first day of high school that will come at the end of this summer. It will be such a bittersweet day! I can't wait.

COME ON SUMMER! GET HERE ALREADY!

Refreshed

2009-05-04T05:41:00.000-07:00

You know that tingly feeling you get when you experience something that seems to be supernatural? Like when you listen to someone sing who you know has a gift and you get the little tingle in your spine? Or the tingle you can get when you are listening and waiting for God and He actually meets you?

For the second time in two weeks, I have walked away from church completely with that feeling-refreshed. Worship was especially amazing. You could just feel God's spirit in you as everyone was singing. Also for the second week in a row, my friend's mom had a prophetic song that spoke directly to my heart. I wish I could remember the words! It was about how God made us by his own his design and that he created our lives and he knows what will happen. Not to take things into our own hands. I was so blessed by that song.

God is doing so much for me in this season of seemingly never ending trials and it never ceases to amaze me. It really is the small things that happen everyday that make me so overwhelmed with joy and happiness. Yesterday for instance, church was great. I also got to see a friend I hadn't seen since Christmas, and my dad helped me wash and wax my new car. I love it when we do those types of things together. :)

Now I know from experience what God can do. Well, He has at least revealed a little bit more of Himself to me... which I am so greatful for. Now I can expect it because I know that God never changes. Thank you GOD for that!

(I will hopefully post a picture of the car soon!)

A Poem :)

2009-05-02T14:05:00.001-07:00

God, when I am greving, you are there for me-

You are always kind and take me under your wing.

The night can be cold and the weeks so long,

But to Your steadfast love I will always hold strong.

You are the peace that comes with time-

The one who's hand I want in mine.

Because when I walk through the valley I know you'll always pick me up-

You'll dust me off and make me move on.

You are love-

The only one who's praises I can sing of.

Even in these hard times I know you have a reason-

My God! Thank you for this trial-filled season.

It's nothing spectacular, but it has alot to do with what I am going through at the moment.

First 100 Days.

2009-04-28T09:30:00.000-07:00

I don't think that I have ever blogged about politics, but I just logged on to Yahoo, and found this article...

President Obama's First 100 Days...
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ynews/ynews_pl314

I couldn't help but to be amused by the irony of the article. What they highlight as Obama's "highs," to me, actually seem to be his lows.

However, the media is most likely not giving all of the information regarding any of the events, so it's hard to tell if the actions taken by our new President are actually for the better of the American people.

As the famous John Mayer song goes, "When they have the only information, Oh they can bend it all they want."

What ever happened to truthful press? Where did the good and honest headlines go? Please, save the op-ed for the op-ed section. We as common people of America can't actually be in the middle of the Washington Politics, so that is what the news media is for. But when they are biased, the information they give becomes that way also. How is that right? How can we look past all of the garbage the media throws at us so we can see the truth behind the story.

Now here is something that really gets me started...

Remember back in 1999... there was all this hype about the Y2K and worldwide computer crash? Grannies all over America stormed the grocery stores like Normandy on D-Day to stock up on milk, bread, and canned goods. What on earth? Computer crash?? NO!

What no one knew is that there was, in fact, a threat to the United States, but not by a worldwide computer shutdown. The threat was actually posed by the same people who eventually would attack the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001. The threat that Homeland Security received was that something "bad" would happen to America on December 31, 1999 at midnight. What was actually supposed to happen December 31 was delayed however, and finally commenced on September 11, 2001 .

This miniseries that aired on ABC in 2006, though there has been some controversey surrounding it, was very insightful.

The Path to 9/11

I think that it is important to make sure to tell my readers that the nature of this post is not to slander on our President. God calls us to honor, respect, and pray for our leaders. This post is mostly to bring light to the age old saying, "Believe none of what you hear and only half of what you see." Just think of how much more effective we could be as the common everyday American if we only knew the truth. If we were fully enlightened, then half of the garbage that goes on behind closed doors may not happen and America would truly be a government for and by the people.

A Dire Need

2009-04-22T15:24:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry that it has been over a week since my last post. There are many good reasons for this delay, however. I will not go into all of them because, like I said, there are many.

Over the past couple of days, there has been a burden on my heart for the unsaved. The reality of what happens to them when they die. I know that for me, I sometimes can view Hell as not that bad of a place because I know that I am not going there, nor are any of the people that are near and dear to me.

But, what happens to the others? Sadly, (sadly is not even a strong enough word for the direness of this possible situation) the ones who are not saved go to Hell. I don't like it when Hell becomes more real to me than just a thought of burning my hand for all of eternity, but I think that it is really helpful in stoking my fire for God. Every one of my not saved friends needs to hear the Truth. They just have to. Hell can't be the reality for them. If I do not share with them the Good News, then I am not doing the job that God has given me. God puts people in our paths for a reason. And if you think about the job that He has given us on the earth, (To glorify HIM and enjoy him forever) helping win the lost over to Christ fits the job description.

Right now, at such a young age, it is easy to get caught up in yourself. I know this only because I do it all the time. But please, I implore all of you. Think of some one that you know is not saved, and do your best to reach out to them and share what God has done. Think of the consequences for that person if they don't become saved. Burning in Hell for all of eternity. Yet Hell is so much more than being burned forever. It means being separated from God. Not being able to pray in the tough times. God gives them up. He spits them out. He turns against them. He forsakes them. FORSAKES. Who would ever want that for someone? Burning in Hell is not something to be taken lightly. For some people, it takes looking at the consequences of their bad actions rather than the possible rewards from their good actions for them to realize what path they are headed down. Pray for everyone. Not only pray, but please, do your part.
........................................................................................................................................................................
"How refreshing to know you don't need me/ How amazing to find that you want me/ So I'll stand on your Truth and I'll fight with your strength until YOU bring the victory/ With the power of Christ in me" - Casting Crowns
........................................................................................................................................................................

Phipps Conservatory

2009-04-13T11:01:00.000-07:00

These are just a couple of the pictures I took while I was at the Conservatory with Elisabeth today. It was really beautiful!

Happiness at Long Last!

2009-04-11T07:59:00.000-07:00

I just got in from shooting pictures out in my yard. The following shots made me pretty happy! (Most are better if you view them in large on my flickr site)

Have a great Easter Weekend!

The blog makeover is thanks to Sara Gorecki. If you want her to make you a blogging template, visit her site... http://blogbackgroundsinc.blogspot.com/

Cooped Up!

2009-04-08T12:25:00.000-07:00

This is the best time of year because all of the flowers are blooming! It's so happy.

It's been kind of nice laying around for the past two days. I've watched a ton of movies thanks to onDemand and HBO. Thank you all for the well-wishes and prayers! I know that it's working!

Timothy

2009-04-06T13:32:00.000-07:00

Hey all... this post is actually from yesterday, but I was too busy in the evening to finish the post.

I just started reading Timothy today in my quiet time. In the first chapter God has revealed so much that I couldn't help but share it with you all. First, Paul and Timothy's relationship with each other was so strong. Timothy listened to and obeyed Paul's orders to stay where he was, and continue winning people over to the Lord. Another thing that was really prominent was Paul's understanding of what he was saved from and how he, now on this side of the cross, carries out his life. This way of life is not exactly written, but rather it is implied in how Paul tells Timothy to treat people who are not believers. Treat them with love and not judgement. I think that as Christians, we can only do this if we remember what we were saved from, but with gratitude, not condemnation. We have to not look back, but keep moving forward with the divine love of God in our hearts burning passionately. We have to love those who seem unloveable, we have to encourage the people who are 'full of themselves,' we have to be the light for every person that we see. When they see us, they will know that we are Christians by how we act.

Today I got my wisdom teeth out. It went really well. I'm taking the pain meds. and trying to stay ahead of the pain. So far it's working. Thanks to all of you who have been praying! Hopefully I will be able to make it to play practice tomorrow night. :)

Why on earth is it snowing outside in April while I am on spring break? Maybe God did that because he knew I couldnt be outside anyway. Thanks for the favor!

Oh Sunday! (retake)

2009-04-05T20:00:00.000-07:00

This "Oh Sunday" post is quite a bit more cheerful than last weeks. :0)

Last night, youth group was really awsome. I'd say one of the best we've had in a while. It seemed like the topic was really relevant to my life and it was refreshing. Like youth group should be :) Now, was that due to the fact that we were in a circle and could see everyone all at once... maybe. But I really think that when Mr. Pierson says that he feels like God is calling our church to a revival...he is on to something big. Our church needs this. We need refreshment, new-found, undying, faith in God. So much so that it spills over into everything we do. This got me thinking about how I expect God to meet me in this revival. I'm not exactly sure yet, but I do know that He WILL meet me, it's just a matter of how. And honestly, I don't think I really care how... just as long as He does.

One thing I realized this past week is that when you have a rotten Sunday, the rest of the week just kind of goes down hill from there. Small things set you off and rub on you the wrong way... you internalize and keep it all to yourself until you explode. You break down in a pile and cry; sometimes for hours. But you know what? I always feel better after I do that. It let's off stress and you can regroup the next morning thinking "What was I so upset about? That was kind of silly." Usually when I go back and read my old journal entries from when I was in middle school or younger I have to laugh at myself. I find what I thought was stressful then to be quite funny now. Who cares if you tripped over your own feet in front of people you don't know? You are never going to see them again so waht does it matter? Now when I think something is stressful, it usually has to do with school or a friend situation. Then I think... I'm going to laugh at this a few years from now. It's going to brighten up a horrible day when I am 20 and dealing with stress that comes with that age.

I think God likes to throw jokes into life at the times we need them the most. Kind of like on "The Pursuit of Happyness" how every time you feel in utter dispare for Will Smith and his movie son and that their story could not get any worse, something funny happens to lighten the mood a little. The kid tells a joke, or Will Smith solves the Rubic's Cube for the businessman. I mean, that is ingenious! It makes me even more amazed at God and his sense of humor.

Life Without Dad...

2009-04-03T06:34:00.000-07:00

Is so lame. I mean I know I usually hid in my cave all day anyway, but it's nice to see him when I "visit the outside world" at lunch time. Last night's softball practice was really weird with out him. I have just gotten really used to dad taking me to practice and him being there coaching the whole time. But for once in my softball career I was treated like an upper classman! HAHA! It was so weird to be the third person to get to practice last night but still be the first to hit in the batting cage. The coach that was in charge of running the batting cages let all of the highschoolers go first even though all of the 8th graders were there first. I kind of felt bad for doing that but he did have a good point... "they have places to be. they earned this. the've been doing it longer than you have..." My mom and I did need to jet, but I still feel so weird about what happened. I guess the younger girls are used to that from school and stuff, but I'm not!

Today I have to get a lot of school work done because I am hopefully going to go to Phipps Conservatory on Monday before I get my wisdom teeth out on Tuesday.

See you soon, Dad!!

Names

2009-03-31T14:24:00.000-07:00

I don't usually blog twice in one day, but today will be the exception. I needed to post about this before I forget, which happens seemingly more often these days...

I got this idea from another blog I follow. If you enjoy writing or need inspiration for various topics of writing... visit Scribblings Blog . A girl named Emily runs it, I met her through my school. Her posts are usually quite interesting.

Cool Names...

Girl Names:
Catalina
Caliape (cu-LI-a-pe)*
Laramie
Odessa
Carnelian
Sienna
Aleria (sounds like a disease)
Marielle
Zelia
Leila
Taea *
Jonnay (John-a)*
Georgia Raine (Should be Georgia Peach)
Natasha
Teagan*
Nadia*
Nalini
Zaylie

Boy Names:
Dallas*
Pendelton (yikes!)
Slade*
Azure*
Zevlin
Zalen
Hadley
Danico
Onyx
Badger (Say what? lol)
Thicket
Drake
Skylar
Ryder*
Keaton
Tate*
Caruso
Jaden*

*-my favorites

What are your favorites? Leave me a comment....

The Greatest Earthly Gift...

2009-03-31T06:01:00.000-07:00

Flowers. Flowers. Flowers. I went outside yesterday to see how our bulb flowers were doing, and to my surprise, they are much farther along than I had anticipated. Here are some pictures.

Our Tulip Buds ^

Daffodils^

More buds than last year ^

Prettyness!

So Yea, needless to say, flowers excite me. For me, there is no greater feeling than planting a seed, watering it, and faithfull waiting on God to grow it. Its my favorite way to commune with God. With out his blessing on my garden, nothing will grow. This year, my mom told me that I could plant whatever in the beds around the outside of our house! I am so excited! The Zennias and (hopefully) Maestro Slavia's will grow again. If not, I am going to have to find some seeds for them, because they are my absolute favoites. Other than Roses and tulips of course.

Today is going to consist of school, softball, and working on the baby afgan I am crocheting. I will post pics of it when I get a little farther along. I started working on it last night and I already have 6 inches done. It's really pretty dark pink Simply Soft yarn. I just have one skein of it, but I know I am going to have to get at least three or four more. It's so pretty! I can't wait to show you all. :)

Oh Sunday.

2009-03-29T16:05:00.000-07:00

This past week has been rather difficult for me to process and deal with. I have been an emotional wreck. It's just one of those seasons of life where it seems like everything is in opposition of you, your heart, and your desires. I'm waging war against Satan in a huge spiritual battle, and it is beginning to drain the life out of me. For those of you who have ever read Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl, you know the struggles that Anne goes through. They are especially evident in the very last entry of her diary. (If you own the book, I suggest you go reread the last entry. It is one of the most beautiful things I have ever read in my life.) I feel kind of like that, yet in a slightly different way. She is trying to figure out who she is, but I know who I am. I just have to find where I belong in life. I am the kind of person who likes to have a plan of action before doing something. I am running the race that all Christians run, but am quickly coming to a fork in the road. I need God's help and have been fervently asking for it, but I just don't seem to be getting any answers. From what the Bible says, God is like that. He doesn't answer to us. He answers to only him. It makes me feel so dumb for giving God a "deadline." You just can't do that. Well, I suppose you can, but you will probably end up in the same boat as me... rowing and rowing and rowing on one side so you go in circles.

So with Mr.P's sermon fresh on my mind, I am going to look at praying a little differently this week. Not praying for selfish gain or biasedly, but rather for Him to show me how handle my current situations :-)

Reality for Unrealistic People

2009-03-28T07:44:00.000-07:00

Ok. So this may be a post that most of you don't really care to read. It's about how odd the female teen celebs are.

I'm typing while I'm listening to all of the Taylor Swift music I have. I love it. It's one of those albums you could just listen to over and over. However, I can't help but thinking about every song and how unrealistic they are. It also bothers me that in nearly half of her songs, she sings about a guy begging at her feet for her to forgive/come back/love. Honestly, who would ever do that? I think she's really pretty, but esteems herself way too much. Her and Miley Cyrus aer pretty much on the same page but in different ways.

While they both have really cool voices, both girls are quite diva-ish and really have no right to be. For people like Mariah Carey and Madonna, who have worked for a long time to become what they are, Diva is pretty much understandable. But Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus are only 17 and 16. They may have put in long hours of work, but how they choose to portray themselves is quite disappointing. They play innocent in their music or movies, but the way that waltz around Hollywood shows their true personality. My question is, how can Miley honestly think she could ruin Radiohead's music career because they chose to not meet her at an awards show. She in return, threw a fit, left the awards show early, and said that she would ruin their career when she tells everyone what they said to her. I think her plan has done quite the opposite, and it's sad that across America, she's every little girl's hero. They want to be like Hannah Montana when they get older. But they only see her when she's on the Disney Channel, not when she's throwing fits. If they could see the various interviews and biography shows done on her, they may think differently.

I feel so bad for her, because she is using the beautiful voice that God gave her to make herself a sixteen-year-old diva who dates a twenty-year-old, and is currently writing an autobiography. Pray for her! She really and truly has an opportunity to affect girls in a positive way, but acting like you are better than everyone else is not a good way to be a leader.

ok. rant over. :)

My appologies...

2009-03-27T09:50:00.000-07:00

I can't wait for our tulips to start blooming this year! (This was the only one that bloomed last year)

It's been nearly a week since my last post. That is due to the overwhelming week I have had. Monday and Tuesday were PSSA's, Wednesday was catch up from the previous two days and Dill's LAX game against Baldwin (Peters Won, I think the score was 6-2 or something). Then yesterday I babysat in the morning, came home, did school work, then left for a doctor's appointment. Since it was in the city, Mom and I decided to go to Whole Foods. It was a cool afternoon. It wasn't until today that I have had time to take an Algebra II test that was assigned for last Friday, and the oral quiz in spanish that was due Monday, but the really cool thing about my school is that they give us a two week cushion to submit the assignment for full credit. They also offer a lot of extra credit. Sounds great, right? Well it is, but there is so much work that it's crazy! On the upside, I got a 200/200 on the first draft of my Margaret Bourke-White paper. I am almost done with it, just a few tweaks, then I can submit it for the final grade. I probably wont post the paper, because it was 8 pages and 2,700 words, but if for some odd reason you would like to read it, I'd be happy to let you. She was a pretty cool lady.

I have found over the past few weeks that it is good to have something to do every day that you are excited about. It keeps interest in life. I mean , even the small things count. Like I am really excited to paint my nails, go to my friends house, even go to the grocery store. Just something to get out every day helps with that February-March-April down time. That lull in between winter and spring when the chilly weather still has the tips of it's fingers holding on.

Real Intimidation...

2009-03-22T11:55:00.001-07:00

Wow. If you have never visited National Geographic's Website for pictures... you must do so! It is incredible!!! Here is a link to their downloadable wallpaper page.

http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/wallpaper/download

As I was browsing through their pictures just now, I was amazed! I want to learn how to photograph things just like that! It makes me want to get their magazine... which was probably the point of offering free wall papers for your computer screen.

Just a cool thing I thought I would share with you all.

Life...happens.

2009-03-19T19:12:00.000-07:00

Thats kind of how I have been feeling lately. Life has been happening. I've been dealing with it. It moves on no matter how much work you have or how yicky you feel. You just learn to deal with it. School never stops... nor do little siblings. Well of course unless they are sick. But even then, you can't desire that one down day because you know that the next day will be two days worth of normal energy hashed out into one. (I'm glad we aren't dealing with that right now! lol)

This week has been kind of unusual. Which I am so glad for. I have been able to actually talk to my mom this week. I haven't been couped up in my room from 9-5 doing work. Yesterday was insane. I was absolutely bizourke (sp?). I was just in one of those untameable insane negative moods. It was like anything my mom would say to appease me I refuted with "Aw. that might work... but I don't like chickpeas...bananas...cashews...peanuts...[insert food i don't like here...]"

It was nuts. I feel bad for my mom. She has to put up with my intense mood swings and tears at the drop of a hat. She has been handling it like a champ though. When I cry because my food feels waxy... she's there to wipe it off and slice it for me. When I cry because all I eat is cheese, she is there to fix me something to eat. When I talk my self in circles and cry because I got nowhere, she's there to make a short-term plan to get me through this week. I would be Howard Hughes if my mom wasn't there to help me.

Speaking of Howard Hughes, I actually had the chance to write an opinion paper on Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I wrote on my direct experience with OCD and washing my hands. It was a cool thing to write about, because I haven't ever really put my disorder into words on paper. It helped me to figure out where I am in the situation. I'm just really mild, and I hope that I will NEVER become like Howard Hughes. Locked up naked in a one room apartment with only newspaper scattered on the floor because he is so disgusted with himself. It's true. People can really be like that. It's sad. If you want to learn more about Howard Hughes, there was a movie I once saw that was about him... The Avaitor. He was a really spectacular guy, but like everyone else, had some problems. I can't remember what the movie was like content-wise. I just remember the final lines that closed the movie..."It's the way of the future, the way of the future, the way of the future..."

Maybe I will write a short essay on him. I don't know that much about him... and now I am intrigued.

relaxation

2009-03-15T13:38:00.000-07:00

"What We've Been Doing..."

Today was a Sunday that we normally don't have. I woke up late (9:30) just as Dad and my four younger siblings were headed out the door for church. Realizing that I would never be ready in time to even make it to the sermon, my mom and I decided to stay home and enjoy the silence. I must say that it was quite odd to be watching Zoey 101 and the Style Channel at 10:30 on a Sunday morning, but it was good. Just laying around making fun of the plastic ladies on "Glamour's 25 Fashion Do's and Don'ts" is very fun!

This afternoon, Mom tried a new recipe... Thumbprint cookies. They are so crunchy and good! (Though I don't think she likes how crisp they are.) I have been working on revamping her baking site... which is almost done! Also, I have finally discovered how to use Gimp 2. Oh my gosh. It is so similar to Photoshop, but it's a lot more user friendly... and it's free! The coolest part is that it allows you to change different colors within the photo. There are also tons of really cool filters you can lay over the image. I really recommend this program!

Have a Savory Sunday! (lol)

2009-03-13T08:02:00.000-07:00

"I love catching my family when they don't know I'm looking. Those are the photos that I look back on and remember. Life just as it was at that moment. The little things that we think we'll remember, but hardly ever do. Those little pieces that, together, make up our story."

-Cookie from Smart Cookie Photography

[Photo Story] Baking with Ben

2009-03-08T12:33:00.001-07:00

[ "Ben, I know for sure it was here when I left to go to the bathroom." ]

Ben and I decided to bake chocolate chocolate chip cookies this afternoon. We always like to bake together, and he is actually pretty good at helping me with it. He listens, usually. Today, he did well. The same as usual. I like to try and sit him down on the couch after most of the mixing is over, just because its easier that way. So I turned on Little Bill and he was doing fine, so I snuck out of the livingroom to take to cookies out of the oven. I try to catch it before the timer goes off, because as soon as he hears the beep it's all over. I caught it and put the cookies on the cooling rack. He did come in, but not until after I had put the next pan in the oven. He was longing for one of the steamy cookies on the rack, you could just see it in his eyes. Then I realized I had to go to the bathroom really bad. So after telling him multiple times that the cookies were hot and not to touch them until I came back, I left Ben sitting at the table gazing at the cookies.

The first thing I noticed when I got back was that Ben was gone. Then I looked down and saw that a cookie was missing. Not to my surprise :-) I didn't really care either. "Ben, I know for sure it was here when I left for the bathroom." No response. Then I heard his foot slip and the chair under the table squeak across the floor. "Ha! I found you!" And he still didn't move... thus the pictures of him under the table. They totally weren't staged. He stayed there until the timer for the next batch of cookies went off, then he popped up and said "Ha! I found you!" Then we both laughed and had some fun eating our cookies. It was a very entertaining afternoon.

Here's the pictures....

Random Things....

2009-03-07T18:47:00.000-08:00

I was tagged by Sara at My Simple Blessed Life. So here is my list of random things about me.

1. I love texting

2. I have recently joined facebook and am addicted (haha. not really compared to Annie and Dilly)

3. I enjoy watching cheesy movies :-)

4. Chocolate and Coffee are the cure for most ales.

5. I can't believe that Camp Rock makes me think differently about Demi Lavato. (Shes actually kind of cool)

6. I have recently been liking music LOUD.

7. I sing all the time. Always.

8. I like chocolate chip ice cream.

9. I like the pain that comes when I work out.

10. Long walks late at night in the summer with one of your best friends is the best thing ever. (With the warm weather, I have been missing a certian someone recently.)

11. My favorite night is Taco Night.

12. I love watching Talledega Nights. (A family fave. don't even ask why!)

13. Fasting works in ways I never imaginged it would. Its hard, but so worth it.

14. I hate kid/teen drama. Its stupid.

15. Tatiana is the weirdest and most akward person. She GETS UNDER MY SKIN! I am so glad that she is off American Idol.

16. Time with friends is so revitalizing!

Tagged Officially.

-A Day Like Any Other (Mom)

-Alaina (if you werent already tagged)

The Meditations of My Heart

2.0.1.2.

We Do Cupcakes!!!

[Happiness is]

I Need Serenity

Harmless Addiction?

America's Turn Toward Paganism

What Happens When...

I'm Not Dead... I promise:)

Loving Life

Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder

When We Have Been Brought to the Edge

Fresh Water

There is Hope For Us Yet!

'... 2We always thank God for all of you, mentioning you in our prayers. 3We continually remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.

SUBMIT!

So

Update

Day Three of Seventeen: Complete

Day Two of Seventeen: Complete

Day One of Seventeen: Complete

It's Almost Time!

Where I come from, rain is a good thing :)

Graduation

What I've been up to

Please Vote for Me!

Do You Know Your Unalienable Rights?

Even when your hope is gone, move along.

Grand Canyon!

15/65 Days of Gratefulness Check it Out

Snowpocalypse

Freshness. Oldness. And everything in between.

Who Do You Create For?

This article is so amazing, and it puts to words the thoughts I have been trying to express for a while. Enjoy :)

"Who do we create for?

Accepted!

Random Stuff

Since When?

CHRISTmas.

Some Things

Christmas Deco.

Breathe In. Breathe Out. Keep Moving.

{Photoshoot}

long time no see

{j. and j.} photoshoot

I'll take 3 please!

Share the Wealth

[once] a week.

Updated

VOTE!

Days go by--I can feel them flying...

where to start

and yet another amazing day :)

these are the days

My Beautiful God

3. 2. 1. Blast Off!

editing!

la tee da

There's nothing like...

[no title]

OMG!

[.sm.]

oh. wow.

Summer Weekends...

Words

Gee.

Wedding Photos...

A Few of My Favorite Things...

idea

life. [lot's of pictures]

[ya don't know what ya got till it's gone]

rethinking things

update

[..summer..]

Disney Pictures

he is the best :)

Perspectives

Pictures

So. It really does take a slap in the face.

Well, God seems to be orchestrating my summer...

'... ²We always thank God for all of you, mentioning you in our prayers. ³We continually remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.